I couldn’t sleep last night, so I did the only thing one can do safely at 3 in the morning: see what’s going on on Facebook. I guess I could have done something more productive, but hey, it gave me an idea for my post today!

You know how sometimes it seems like people try to come up with the wittiest status on Facebook? Have you ever found yourself sitting in front of your computer trying to outdo your friends and drawing blanks? Well here are some status ideas that just might give you the edge. (Though if you need to check this list to come up with your own status…well…)

• Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
• Tomorrow I’m gonna write a blog post about procrastination.
• Feels like getting some work done…and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
• Is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while…
• Thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”
• Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
• Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
• Women: Can’t live with them, can’t kill them. (I say it works the other way around, too.)

And, since the 4th of July is coming up, here are several special ones:

• Freedom of speech is wonderful – right up there with the freedom not to listen.
• What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
Revo-lotion! (Yeah, that is kind of lame.)
• What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British! (Alrighty, those from Britain, don’t get all worked up.)

The best of them all:

• Chuck Norris doesn’t celebrate the 4th of July. The 4th of July celebrates Chuck Norris.

Happy 4th of July everyone!