I am sure you have heard/encountered some people who think that one shouldn’t eat meat because it’s taking advantage of animals. Political correctness aside, I see some flaws in their arguments, but I will not get into that here. (There is, of course, the argument that raising animals for food contributes largely to the problem of greenhouse gases.) Instead, I propose a solution which may or may not ruin your appetite.
It’s easy enough for non-carnivores to take the stand that real animal meat should not be consumed. For those who like their meat, though, actually foregoing meat is a totally different matter. Enter Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a Japanese scientist who has come up with a meat alternative made of soya, steak sauce essence (good so far, huh), and – be ready for this – human feces.1
I kid you not. Instead of being satisfied with alternative sources of protein (tofu and the likes), Ikeda has gone one step further by recycling “sewage mud”. Whether that can be considered a euphemism or not (I say not!), sewage mud is basically poo; waste that is ultra rich in protein.
So what Ikeda does is to extract protein and lipids from waste. These materials are what are turned into something meat-like by “whipping” them in an “exploder”. And of course, flavor has to be added, hence the soya and steak sauce essence.
These burgers are very low in fat – woohoo! – but cost about 10-20 times as much as a burger you can buy from McDonald’s. Still, they’re healthy; they’re not real meat; and they’re good for the environment. Man, I can’t help but think of that ice cream made from mother’s milk. Now that would be preferable to this!
Poop burgers anyone? I think I’ll pass this time.

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