Usually when a film fails to hold our interests we turn off the television and go do something more worthwhile. (Actually that’s a lie; we just find something else to watch.) Anyhow, some are terrible, but for some reason we keep watching. That’s led us to share with you, our readers, these 8 Worst Movies We Somehow Managed To Finish.
8. Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen
The first Transformers was thoroughly entertaining, well-paced, and exciting from start to finish. The second was rushed and amateurish, with the Robot Heaven scene alone making it a shoo-in as one of the worst movies we’ve ever seen. Yet, somehow, we watched the whole thing, mainly hoping things might turn around and salvage this misfire before it had a chance to do any more damage to our childhoods. (Mission failed.)
7. The Spirit
Frank Miller was long heralded as a genius of the comic medium for his work on The Dark Knight Returns, Daredevil, and Batman: Year One. After The Spirit, we all began to realize he was a turtle on his back when it came to making movies. The Spirit suffers from an all-CGI look, which renders the black-and-white impotent. It also has a laughable script and a total disregard for the Will Eisner source material.
6. The Village
You’ll notice nothing else by M. Night Shyamalan on this list. That’s because The Village was so bad, we swore off his movies altogether after suffering through it. Why did we stay? Well, it’s M. Night. There has to be a twist, right? And while The Village does have a twist, it’s a really stupid one.
This movie could have been 30 minutes long had Edward Cullen just left Bella Swan alone. Instead he follows her around telling her to leave him alone — scratching head — even though she’s showing no signs that she’ll ever get close enough to him to be in any real danger. There’s also the idiotic vampire baseball scene.
4. Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Aliens, surviving nuclear blasts inside of a refrigerator, a weak villain, and Shia LaBeouf, all make this a failure. Harrison Ford lost a step or two as well.
3. King Kong (2005)
Director Peter Jackson had an overinflated ego when he tackled King Kong in 2005. He was flying high off the success of his Lord of the Rings trilogy, and so he just assumed we wanted to see a three-hour remake to a 100-minute movie about an ape. Wrong. You could slice out at least an hour of this dreck and end up with a much better film.
2. Spiderman 3
The Tobey Maguire dance number in act two of this film is an atrocity, but not quite as much as the casting of Topher Grace in the role of Venom. These decisions were poorly held together by director Sam Raimi, who appears to have lost his fire for the character from the opening frame.
When even the abs on many of the Spartan warriors are CGI, I know I’m going to hate it. 300 is a great underdog story, but it’s overshadowed by its director’s love of pretty things. Zack Snyder’s film takes something courageous and violent and turns it into a series of pixellated cartoon images with no threat or menace whatsoever. The word of mouth made me want to like it, but in reality, it’s everything wrong with movies today.
Now that you’ve read our picks of the worst movies we’ve ever watched in their entirety, what are some of yours? Sound off in the comments section! And while you’re at it, check out our list of the 7 surprising movies that should have sucked, but didn’t.