Well, what you don’t get is a “Windows for Dummies” book from Amazon, or a Zune, or Microsoft Office.

What you might consider is the Plush Jobs 17-inch tall replica doll of… Steve Jobs – who else?

If your chosen Apple fan isn’t visibly delighted with a mini-Steve, then he or she is either lying, or isn’t as much of an Applehead as you thought.

In that case you could mention that it’s great to “cuddle up with him and pretend he’s whispering corporate secrets in your ear”, that “Jobs enjoys hanging out with your other stuffed animals” or that “he thinks it would be very nice to live at your house”.

The cruel inferior-operating-system-loving practical jokers among you could always create a little flap in Plush Jobs’ back so that, over time, you can take bits of his stuffing out and then comment on how thin Steve’s been looking recently.

Not that I’d condone it unless you enjoy being beaten up by a rabid iPhone-wielding nutcase (that’d be me again).

Buy one here for $27.99. It’s made by Podbrix, the designers who also brought you the iPod Shuffle LEGO case.