Video game movies suck. They suck the ass of a dead donkey who has been rotting on the side of the road in Texas for two weeks while being raped by other dead animals. They suck like a thousand vacuums all sucking at once like a sonic suck symphony. They suck as much as your dirty ex who cheated on you by sucking something else. They suck the way a leech does, draining your life without you even knowing it. They suck like Dracula, except without the cool cape. The suck so bad, one may have to ask, why do video game movies suck so bad?
Well, I KNOW WHY!