Here we are: on the cusp of 2011, waving tearfully at 2010 and wishing it bon voyage, or telling it not to let the door hit it in the arse…depending on the kind of year you’ve had. And here we are wrapping up another week in geek, just in time to gather with friends and family and partake in the yearly Twilight Zone marathon drinking game (one shot every time Roddy McDowall looks constipated, two shots every time someone jumps out a window, chug a pint whenever a tiny robot intimidates an old lady). No more time to waste, so let’s cut straight to action.

WIN: Solar Pants
While also being another excellent band name, solar pants are coming to the simultaneously idly-rich and ecologically-conscious. The $920 trousers, Go Urban Cargo Pants, feature a stylish low-slung drawstring waist offset, if not entirely canceled, by two hideous side solar panels. This is more than a fashion statement that says “hello, I have $920 to burn and absolutely no clue how my money could be better spent for the environment”. It’s also a way to carry a power source for small electronics in your pants, which means your love affair with your car’s cigarette lighter socket and assorted adapters will end in messy divorce.

FAIL: Better Judgment
A 23-year old South Carolina man was hospitalized after unsuccessfully attempting to stage a real life recreation of the classic video game Frogger. The incredibly inane stunt (that, had he succeeded, would have been both incredibly inane and unfathomably awesome) began with the word “go” and ended in an SUV as he tried to dart across a four-lane highway.

WIN: Technologically-Assisted Drinking
Want to get blitzed on whatever now-sludgy crap you’ve got sitting at the back of your parents’ liquor cabinet? There’s an app for that. App-enabled drinkers everywhere will be thrilled to usher in the age of Top Shelf, an application that teaches you how to build a drink from whatever you have on hand, without making a special trip to the liquor store. And in case you’re too lazy to run to the store and too lazy to choose a drink from the selection available, Top Shelf can choose a recipe for you. Bonus.

FAIL: Man of Action
…Action figure, that is. In time for Christmas, M.I.C. Gadget manufactured and sold Steve Jobs action figures with an uncanny, if somewhat hydrocephalitic likeness to the Apple giant. For some reason, people actually bought them at a price tag of nearly $80.00. (It would be equally astounding if people actually bought them at a price tag of nearly $8.00.) The rub? M.I.C. Gadget never requested permission to use Jobs’ likeness in their product, invoking Apple’s wrath. They dutifully complied with a cease and desist from Apple, but the action figure continued to sell at prices of up to $2,500 on eBay. (Insert further agog here.) Now Apple’s lawyers have turned their guns on the online marketplace and at least one individual seller; the action figures have since been removed and warnings have been issued by eBay.

Happy New Year to you and yours. Have fun but be safe as 2011 dawns. See you next year, same Geek-time, same Geek-channel!

Well, just in case you are indeed wondering, let’s take a look at this quirky summer accessory that you might want to leave at home when you hit the beach in the summer. While the cap looks just like any other baseball cap, the solar powered fan hat aims to keep you cool during the hot summer months. It does so with the small fan attached to the middle of the bill, which has a built-in hole. The dumb ingenious design is such that the fan blows air right onto your forehead. (If you’re wearing contact lenses, I have this feeling that they will dry right off of your eyes and fall out.)

And hey, to complete the geeky aura, instead of using AA or AAA batteries, you get your very own solar panel! You will not miss it – no one can miss it! – as it is stupidly conveniently placed right atop of the hat, to catch the sun’s rays to the fullest.

Oh my, I am at a total loss for words now. I cannot think of anything else to say about this hat except, WTF were they thinking???