I am so going to have nightmares about this.

You know that traveling anatomy exhibit called Body Worlds, where you can look up close at human bodies that have been preserved (and posed) using a process called plastination? (Plastination is achieved by replacing water and fat in the body with special plastics.) My wife and I went to see the exhibit in Charlotte a few years back, which unfortunately turned out to be a bad idea since she was pregnant with our first child at the time. But that’s another story. The exhibit also appeared briefly in the movie Casino Royale.

The guy responsible for Body Worlds, Gunther von Hagens, has decided to try his hand at merchandise. And what he’s selling is jewelry made of cross-sectioned slices of things like citrus fruit, kiwi fruit, giraffe tails, and… bull penises. Also, for good measure: bull testicles. Because who wouldn’t want a pair of testes dangling from their ears?

Hagens is also selling actual human bodies and body parts that have been plastinated — but only to qualified, proven researchers, teachers, or medical scientists. (A full human body will set you back about $100,000.) Needless to say, this is stirring up quite a bit of controversy.

As for the jewelry — all of which is available to the general public — about $33 + international shipping will get you the earrings seen above. There are also necklaces, bracelets, and rings available that are made from the reproductive bull organs.

Is it fashion? Is it art? Or is it sick?

Take a look at this rather bizarre bike. Apart from the fact that its wheels don’t have spokes, they’re not round either.

The front wheel is a rounded off pentagon while the back one is a reuleaux triangle (yeah, I went to Wikipedia too).

Apparently it’s quite smooth to ride, though it wasn’t completed in time for the Beijing Olympics that it was supposed to be in sponsorship for.

Never mind, it wouldn’t have won any medals.

Vintage Pool Ball Bottle Stoppers

Keep a bottle of wine fresh (if it lasts more than one sitting) with these pool ball adorned bottle stoppers. Link

Evil Skulls Pool Ball Set

Pool balls with skulls on. Mwahaha. Link

Texas Longhorns Pool Ball Set

If the Texas Longhorns are your thing, check out these themed pool balls. Link

Telephone Box Cue Stand

Very British (not that you can find many real ones in the UK any more) only this red telephone box is for storing your pool cues and pool balls. Link

Swirl Marble Pool and Billiards Set

Why play with boring plain pool balls when these marble ones feature great swirling colours. Link

Rocco Clear Pool Balls

Made from resin, fortunately, but don’t they just look like glass marbles? Cool numbering on them, too. Like a lot. Link

Pool Ties

OK, I’m not convinced novelty ties are allowed, but if you must… Link

Pool Table Cake

You know someone’s been a pool fan far too long when they start baking stuff on the theme. Link

Pool Ball Lighter

Apparently works as a real lighter, flame upon pressing the number. Link

Pool Ball Light Switch

Just for the kids’ room? I don’t think so. Link

Pool Ball Rings and Earrings

Wow… Eleanor Salazar makes them out of pool balls. I’m not really into rings but even I might consider that ring (one of the other colours, maybe). Link

Pool Ball Clock

If this one doesn’t grab you, there’s a few more at the link. Link

Pool Ball Candles

Want more than just the 8 ball, or actually burn the pool balls? Try this set of six pool ball candles. Link

Poker Pocket Billiards

A different twist on the game: 10 different cared games played on any pool table. Link

Mythical Beasts Pool Balls

Mythical creatures printed on your pool balls. Far more interesting – let’s hope they don’t fly away when you’re trying to sink them. Link

Marbled 8 Ball Door Knob

Actually made from blown glass and then stuck to your door. Link

Lunar Rocks Pool Balls

Designed for the Hollywood motion picture “The Adventures of Pluto Nash”. Link

Light up Pool Balls

Each ball is good for 50,000 flashes, and they flash upon impact with the cushions, cue and other balls. Link

Hidden pool ball and cue bench

If, worst luck, your pool table has to share the room with other things that don’t appreciate it, this pool bench at least lets you hide away the kit until it’s time to play. Link

56th Birthday Cake Pool Balls

Lucky birthday boy Mike may get to find out what the Magic 8 Ball says later on after he’s munched through this cake. Link

Glow in the Dark Pool Balls

Aramith glow-in-the-dark pool balls and pool table conversion kits. Comes with glow-in-the-dark phenolic ball set, reflective cushion tube with metallic springs, glowing cue rings, glowing break spots, and glow-in-the-dark rail sights. Link

Fred the Camera Robot

All manner of games represented here, as well as being a camera, but pride of place to the pool balls being used as Fred’s head. Nice. Link

8 Ball Candle Holder

Authentic American 8-ball, chopped and drilled so it can hold a candle. Link

Disco Pool Balls

Does exactly what it says. Just don’t get those 70′s clothes out again. Link

Cue Ball Wizard Pinball

Pool and pinball combined. Does it get any better? Loads more photos via the link. Link

Crazy Cue Ball

Everyone loves a practical joker when they’re lining up for that crucial make-or-break shot, right? Give ‘em what they want with the crazy cue ball – it’ll never shoot straight. Unlike their fist. Link

Billiard Ball Peppermints

Available in peppermint and cinnamon, WPBA Billiard Mints are shaped like miniature 9-balls. They are packed in rectangular tins illustrated to resemble billiards tables. Link

Give reality a stab by “at least” mocking it. While admittedly useless and definitely odd, the USB-powered shaking hip may just save you from your gloomy fate. Sure it’s not got any function … but at least, it’ll make you smile for a while.

It will be available first in Japan for about US$15.