Cable returns like we knew he would.

While preparations for the festive season no doubt eat into every spare moment, the opportunity to sit and read the weekly pull list becomes rather segmented. So this week, I thought I would review many of the titles being released this week, and maybe recommend some titles for those quiet moments once the festivities have died down and all that remains to do is digest the food. (Oh, and no doubt wash up, but that can wait.)

The first of today’s shipping is Memoir #5. I have already written of how much I love this series, and now we are swiftly approaching the conclusion. It feels like it has been too long since the last issue was released. If you haven’t tried this title, I still recommend diving in, as the story has gone from a bit weird to really dark weird.

Speaking of weird, last week’s Defenders was a bit of a disappointment really, with only hints of the storyline promised in the Doctor Strange tale in Marvel Point One. If you want your weird in Marvel flavour, grab the Vengeance mini-series, featuring the Teen Brigade among others. (A statement that hardly does the title justice, but for continuity freaks, this is a must.)

That is not to say that the Defenders #1 was bad, only standard. Still, we have been without standard Defenders fare for so long, even this is welcome; and hopefully the weirder aspects will be nurtured and grow.

Demon Knights #4 is out, and like Newsarama, I agree that as a title of the so-called New 52, there is not a lot new in this title, but it is fun, fleshing out an era of the DCU that has only ever been a back drop previously.

X-Sanction this week features the return of Cable. Remember when he was first introduced? I remember judging him has a two-dimensional mutant Punisher that fell out of the mold of Rob Liefeld’s average characters that went to populate the Image/Maximum universe. Yet over time, his character has been refined and developed so much so that when it appeared they were going to kill him off, I was actually disappointed. Yet as with all time-travelling characters, he can always return, and I look forward to reading whether this is the Nathan we just said goodbye to, or an earlier version from further up his timeline.

Speaking of the X-Men, the Uncanny X-Force completes the Dark Angel Saga this week. If you have not been following this, I highly recommend you jump on board, and grab what back issues you can find, this is mutant terrorism at its best. Meanwhile, I finally got round to reading  the first two issues of Wolverine and the X-Men, and it was not what I expected. Gone was the mutant malaise, and in its place, fun, fun, fun. This is work that Grant Morrison would be proud of if he turned his mind to comedy. I feared that I would suffer X-overload, but there is so much variety in the X-titles that I can tolerate a full dose. Now that has been a long time in coming!

Harshness, the guy who created the X-Men minimalist posters, is based in Portland, Oregon and describes these poster prints:

• This print was created using archival pigment inks, and is printed on archival, heavyweight, matte paper.
• Print is signed and ready for framing.
• COLORS: Please Let Me Know Your Color Choice In The “Notes To Seller”. If No Choice Is Made, Print Will Come In The Color Shown.

As you can expect, all the posters have a dominant X in the background, with each character’s symbol incorporated into the image. I particularly like how the colors look for the Rogue and Wolverine posters.

Rogue

Wolverine

Sure, there is the fact that these two characters just might be the most popular ones in the franchise, but there is something about the blending of the colors that make them stand out from the others. Nightcrawler kicks butt, too, with the way that the character is portrayed.

Nightcrawler

As for Cyclops, I am not too sure about the poster. Aside from the shades, which I do not really like at all, there is something that tells me the poster doesn’t quite measure up to the others.

Cyclops

Here are the other X-Men Minimalist Posters.

Storm

Iceman

Gambit

Angel

Xmen Minimalist Posters

Marvel Point One, and the Watcher has a home invasion

Having only finished my pile of comics from last week over breakfast this morning, I thought I would spend a moment with Marvel, or more specifically, Marvel Point One.

Today we see the shipment of Avengers #19, one of the issues that Marvel Point One claims heralds the return of Ultron. Now I fail to see the connection between an Avengers membership drive (which seem to be occurring with an ever increasing regularity), and the return of Norman Osbourne and Ultron, although I would be the first to admit that the Green Goblin is crazy enough to utilise the genocidal bot. Or maybe it’s Tony Stark’s reparation of the Vision that leads to the adamantium killer’s return?

Except, isn’t there already a version of the Vision already wandering around? A combination of the original Vision’s OS, (what I wouldn’t give to have that installed on my laptop!) and Iron Lad’s armour? I know that Marvel is not one to shy away from duplicate characters; after all, we now have a new Scarlet Spider. And we all know how well that ended the first time around. But still! Does that mean that the Young Avengers Vision should be Vision Lad? No, that’s taken, or at least it was. Maybe Vision-Baby? Or Kid-Vision? (Ughh!)

Yes, I am convinced there is still a place for Sixties kitsch, however much the publishers want to ‘update’ their creations for the ‘new’ generation.

Anyway, I digress. Marvel Point One gave us an excellent foreshadowing of things to come, without promising anything concrete. Is this the future? Or simply a What If? And such high plot points not withstanding, just how can one ‘pay off’ Ultron in the first place? What would you use as currency? Your fertility? Your first born?

What I really look forward to is the new Defenders title that, if the Doctor Strange sequence is anything to go by, will be the Marvel spandex answer to the classic Invisibles by Grant Morrison. It’s a shame that that the She-Hulk starring in this is the Red, not the green, because I’m sure that reference to Jennifer’s ‘Fourth Wall awareness’ would have been able to complicate what already appears to be a promising storyline with a huge degree of hilarity.

The new Uncanny X-Force arc seems promising, with all our favourite anti-mutant bigots joining together to become something they hate, all under the shadow of the Age Of Apocalypse. If you missed that titles recent revisit to the alternate timeline of mutant hell, I highly recommend it. Oh, and they now have a Deathlok as a member as well, how can that be bad?

Something Marvel is doing currently, it’s doing right. Although the titles have all the hot new styles we’ve come to expect nowadays, this is the same universe that I saw in the Seventies and Eighties but that vanished for a while in the Nineties. Additionally, the fact that there are less dragged out ‘deconstructed’ storylines in most titles again makes me believe my few bucks have been well spent. And it’s about time, but congratulations to the ‘House Of Ideas’. It’s been a long slog, but things make sense again.

Avengers Academy 21, New rules

I wonder if in years to come, we will look back at 2011 and consider it to be a great year for change within the comics industry? Or have we had quite enough changes already so far, thank you very much?

The DC Universe rebooted itself (again), just the one Earth this time. I think.  Thor died, though he might have done that before, and he’s certainly not the only one. The Human Torch died (yeah, right) and the Richards started employing super-villains while becoming a children’s home.

The Avengers were re-legalised, destroyed, rebuilt, destroyed, had another go at training youngsters, and the X-Men schismed into two factions. Sure, and they’ve never done that before.

Without sounding too critical, I actually like what is happening with the X-Men. It makes sense, at least they are not at war, and it brings some once major characters, such as Storm, back to the centre stage where they belong. Not to mention some interesting combinations of characters.

The independant scene offers transient delights. Pick up this weeks issue of The Strange Talent Of Luther Strode if you doubt me (and if you missed the first issue). There are aspects that we can certainly define as indicative of the ‘Noughties’ as I discussed when I first wrote about the title.  Yet it has a certain individuality so far that is appealing, and I hope that remains.

The Last Of The Greats is another cool series, yet after the first issue, it seems remarkably similar to the plot of Irredeemable, and I hope my visit to the store today will prove me wrong.

Strangely enough, it’s the more ‘retro’ titles that seem to be doing it for me at the moment, such as Kirby:Genesis, or All Winners Squad:Band Of Heroes. I am certainly looking forward to the next Project Super-Powers as well.

My tip for the week though has to be the aforementioned Avengers Academy. Our disenfranchised youth has now been joined by a new White Tiger (erm, this is what? White Tiger number four? Five?), and to my great delight, Julie Power!

For younger readers who may not remember, Julie was the oldest girl (and possibly the most sensible member) of Power Pack, a group of four siblings given powers by horse-faced aliens, in a title that lasted just over half a decade.

The original students, not quite as well-adjusted as your average teen, do not exactly take well to this, but for the sheer characterisation of the Avengers and their hangers-on, this has to be the best of the Avengers titles.

Why, there is an entire story nearly every issue, not dragged out over numerous months at a snails pace. If you haven’t tried it yet, dive in, the waters fine.

Batman Triumphant

A fan poster for 'Batman Triumphant'

This was a proposed sequel to the godawful Batman & Robin, with George Cooney and Chris O’Donnell returning in the lead roles. The story pitted Bats against Scarecrow and Man-Bat in what director Joel Schumacher (who directed the prior two films) wanted to be a return to the darker portrayal of the title character, rather than the goofy, technicolor kiddie flicks that the series had fallen into. But when Batman & Robin failed to perform at the box office (not to mention with critics and fans), Batman Triumphant was scrapped in favor of a series reboot — a move that gave us the triumphant Christopher Nolan films. So it sort of lived up to its name.

Batman vs. Superman

Batman vs. Superman fan art

Director Wolfgang Petersen (Air Force One, The Perfect Storm) came very close to making this one. It introduced a retired, haunted Bruce Wayne and a divorced Clark Kent who start off as friends. There’s a wedding in the story, where Bruce ties the knot to one Elizabeth Miller, and Clark — who has rekindled his high school romance with Lana Lang — is his best man. Things go south when Elizabeth is murdered by the Joker while the happy couple are on their honeymoon, sending Bruce back into the Bat-tights. Lex Luthor is also involved in some way, perhaps in an alliance with the Joker. Presumably, as the title suggests, the two heroes would at some point in the movie come to blows against one another, though I’m sure it all turned to hugs and puppies by the end. [Image source.]

Batman: Year One

Costume concept from 'Batman: Year One'

A collaboration between director Darren Aronofsky and writer Frank Miller, this was conceived as a complete reboot of the Batman film series after the disappointment that was Batman & Robin — but before Christopher Nolan was involved. Aronofsky and Miller’s script is described as a 70s period piece where they “threw out absolutely everything you know about Batman” and started over from scratch. Instead of a billionaire, Bruce Wayne is a street-dwelling orphan after his parents are killed, growing up into “a borderline psychotic who begins taking violent vengeance on street thugs.” And instead of using high-tech gadgets, this street-level Batman uses whatever junk he can get his hands on. His Batcave is an abandoned subway station, and his Batmobile is a Lincoln Continental with some added hardware. The idea of a “year one” take on Batman would carry on to the subsequent Batman Begins by Christopher Nolan, but no story elements from Aronofsky and Miller’s story would be used.

Justice League

Justice League fan art

George Miller wanted to make this film, which was the start of a proposed film trilogy, with a young cast of 20-somethings in the starring roles of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, and others. The script by Kieran and Michelle Mulroney has secret files belonging to Batman stolen by a supervillain team-up — files that describe the weaknesses of each member of the Justice League, in case of worst-case scenario where Bruce might be forced to take them down. OMACs and Brother Eye are involved, Barry Allen is murdered with Wally West taking up The Flash mantle, and there’s a big twist at the end revealing Darkseid as setup for a sequel. At first, the movie was going to be set in the same universe as Batman Begins and Superman Returns, but this was scrapped pretty early in favor of a separate continuity. [Image source.]

Spider-Man (James Cameron)

Storyboard from James Cameron's 'Spider-Man'

Cameron’s take on the web-head was similar to Sam Raimi’s first movie in broad strokes, but Cameron’s outline/script (which you can read for yourself online, or a version with storyboards here) was a darker, more nuanced origin story for Peter Parker. Peter is a repressed bully target who explodes with rage when given the opportunity, beating Flash to a bloody pulp and swinging across New York rooftops as a cathartic sort of therapy. His enemies include a new version of Sandman, who works as a sort of “mob enforcer” for Electro, a wealthy entrepreneur whose electrical powers could alter digital records, access databases, and more, and who tries to turn Peter into a fellow villain. J. Jonah Jameson owns a local TV station instead of a newspaper. Spidey’s web shooters are organic (which is where Raimi got the idea from), but manifest in a sticky wet dream one night in bed. Where Raimi’s film was candy-colored and maintained a plucky optimism, Cameron’s story is set in a world of moral greys, where doing the right thing often causes as many problems as it solves. Peter’s journey to becoming a hero is a longer one, with more mistakes along the way. He swears frequently and even has costumed sex with Mary Jane in a steamy scene atop the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s kind of hard to imagine this film in the wake of Sam Raimi’s successful trilogy, but don’t ever underestimate Cameron’s midas touch at the box office. It was an opportunity lost due to legal battles between various studios who believed they had the rights to make a Spider-Man movie. But in my opinion, despite a few odd choices, it’s ultimately a cool story, and James Cameron + Spider-Man would have made an unstoppable box office dynamic duo.

Spider-Man 4

A fan-made poster for 'Spider-Man 4'

Even though most fans were disappointed with Spider-Man 3, it was an enormous box office success, and Sony greenlit Spider-Man 4 not long after 3‘s release. Raimi wanted the villain this time out to be the Lizard, while the studio wanted John Malkovich as Vulture. Tobey Maguire and Kirstin Dunst were set to reprise their roles as well, and development was in full swing when Raimi backed out, citing creative differences with the studio. Marc Webb was brought in to restart the franchise anew, and he chose Andrew Garfield as his Spider-Man. We’ll see what they come up with next Summer.

Super Max

Green Arrow was the main character in 'Super Max'

A hot script by David Goyer & Justin Marks was the talk of Hollywood a few years ago. In it, Green Arrow has been incarcerated for a crime he didn’t commit, in an extremely elaborate, high-tech prison made to de-power superpowered criminals and hold them indefinitely. It was described as a big, complex heist film with lots of supervillains from DC Comics — and a superhero or two as well (in addition to Green Arrow). No Black Canary, but roles were confirmed for Riddler, Joker, and Lex Luthor. There’s no reason this one might not one day see the light of day, but nobody’s in any hurry.

Superman: Flyby

Costume concept for JJ Abrams' 'Superman: Flyby'

J.J. Abrams’ wildly bold reimagining of the Superman story is — not unlike Zack Snyder’s upcoming Man of Steel — a total reboot that leaves behind all past continuity and takes some major steps away from the comic book mythology. This script suffered from a now legendary leak to Aint It Cool News, where Abrams’ reinvention of the mythos was dragged through the mud and generated an enormous negative reaction from readers. Abrams’ screenplay is an origin story with the usual familiar elements. It’s the differences that rankled fans’ sensibilities, such as Lex Luthor being a government agent obsessed with UFOs who’s later revealed to be a Kryptonian himself, and a lot of “kung fu” style mid-air fights between Supes and a quartet of criminal Kryptonians. The story’s epic battle scenes had these super-beings throwing each other into buildings and creating maximum destruction through Metropolis. It was an undeniably geeky script, filled with loads of eye candy, and despite those early knee-jerk reactions from fans worried about an “unknown” (which Abrams was at the time) retooling their beloved mythology, had Abrams’ script been used, and he been allowed to direct it himself… Frankly, that’s something I’d like to see. Abrams is a fantastic storyteller and always has his finger on the pulse of what makes for awesomely cool storytelling. This was was intended as Part One of a new trilogy of films, but it was thrown out when Bryan Singer came onboard to direct.

Superman Lives

Concept art from Tim Burton's 'Superman Lives'

This one went through such a sordid series of drafts and directors, it’s hard to say how it may have turned out. The consensus seems to be that Tim Burton’s new take on the mythos (starring, of all people, Nicolas Cage) was largely based on a written-by-committee script that passed through the hands of Kevin Smith, Wesley Strick (Cape Fear, The Glass House), Dan Gilroy (The Fall, Real Steel), William Wisher Jr., and more. The story evolved through all these iterations but the common elements seemed to be Superman’s fight against Doomsday from the comic books’ “Death of Superman” storyline, which would be followed by Superman’s resurrection in a de-powered form. He would be fitted with ridiculous Kryptonian armor that could mimic his usual powers, until those powers eventually came back on their own. The movie spent a lot of pre-production money on ultimately nothing, and left several Hollywood careers in its wake, but we’re all better off with it never having gone before cameras. Crisis averted.

Wonder Woman

Costume concepts from Joss Whedon's 'Wonder Woman'

Joss Whedon, at one time seen as the perfect choice for building a female superhero (because he’d already done it several times) was going to make this movie, but Warner Bros. had no idea what angle they wanted to take with the character. Whedon tried more than one approach, script-wise, but they refused to approve anything he came up with despite providing him with zero direction. It ultimately fell apart, costing Whedon a two-year “waste of time.”

X-Men Origins: Magneto

A poster from 'X-Men: First Class' highlighting Magneto's tragic past

A Sheldon Turner script was planned for David Goyer to direct. The script was set from 1939 to 1955, and it follows Erik Lehnsherr trying to survive in Auschwitz where he meets young Charles Xavier, an American soldier who helps liberate the camp. While Xavier tries to befriend him, Erik has vengeance in his heart for the Nazis who tortured him, a difference in worldview which ultimately comes between the two young men. The film was delayed by the Writers Guild strike, and eventually replaced with X-Men: First Class, which retained some elements of the Xavier/Magneto friendship-cum-rivalry story.

Marvel likes to boast that it has a roster of more than 5,000 characters, but did you know that over two thousand of them are mutants? Over the many decades of Marvel Comics, some pretty bizarre mutants have been created. Here’s my picks for the top 15 most outrageously weird X-Men ever.

Note that I’m using the term “X-Men” here as a broad term to describe all mutants — whether members of the X-Men team of superheroes, or not.

Absalom

Real name: unknown
Powers: Absalom could control and change his skeleton, and often used this power to grow bony spikes out of his body (which were purple, for some reason). That hair metal mane was apparently unrelated to his abilities.
[Image source.]

Bling!

Real name: Roxanne “Roxy” Washington
Powers: Bling! (yes, the exclamation point is part of her name) had bone marrow that created diamonds. Uh-huh. She used this ability to shoot diamond shards at her enemies super-fast. The diamond also made her nigh-impenetrable, like Emma Frost.
[Image source.]

Chamber

Real name: Jonothon “Jono” Evan Starsmore
Powers: This rather popular character had most of his chest and half his face blown off by the psionic energy contained within his body when his powers first manifested. Um… gross much?
[Image source.]

Dirt Nap

Real name: unknown
Powers: The villainous Dirt Nap absorbed others into his own body, taking on their powers and memories. The weirdness comes from how he absorbed people: he ate them. He deployed a huge mouth with a clawed, green tongue and ingested his enemies. He tried this trick once on Wolverine, but Logan’s healing factor made it impossible for Dirt Nap to digest him. The villain barely escaped with his life, only managing it by quickly eating a rat to take on its form. For reasons never explained, he’s been stuck in the form of a rat ever since. The lesson to be learned in all this: never mess with Wolverine.
[Image source.]

Eye-Scream

Real name: unknown
Powers: A villain who could turn into ice cream. Seriously. Any flavor!
[Image source.]

Glob Herman

Real name: Robert Herman
Powers: Put simply: he was a wax-man. Instead of skin and musculature, his skeleton and organs were surrounded by see-through “bio-paraffin.” The stuff gave him added strength and speed, and it was highly flammable.
[Image source.]

Maggot

Real name: Japheth
Powers: Maggot would no doubt get most fans’ vote for weirdest X-Man of all time. Because his bizarre power consisted of a mutated digestive system that took on the form of two giant maggots. The maggots could eat anything, and would then return to his abdomen to disperse the nourishment and energy they’d collected; this gave Maggot super strength and (inexplicably) turned his skin blue. Yeeeeah. The day Maggot was created… somebody was stoned.
[Image source.]

Mammomax

Real name: Maximus Jensen
Powers: He’s an elephant-shaped man. For real. Mega-strong, durable, yadda yadda yadda. So the elephant thing is pretty much all he’s bringing to the table. And his name sounds like an extra strength mammogram.
[Image source.]

Marrow

Real name: Sarah
Powers: Girlfriend has bones that never stop growing, causing them to break through her skin and stick out. Once they’re through the skin, she can break them off and use ‘em as weapons.
[Image source.]

No-Girl

Real name: Martha Johansson
Powers: There were a lot of freak shows that joined the ranks of the Xavier’s School when Grant Morrison was writing New X-Men back in 2001. One of his numerous victims was poor Martha, whose brain was removed from her body and kept alive in a floating globe thing. She was telepathic, but that was all she had to offer.
[Image source.]

Skin

Real name: Angelo Espinosa
Powers: Think Mr. Fantastic if he was way grosser. Skin’s body holds about 4 to 6 feet of extra skin, which he can contract and stretch at will, using it in all sorts of ways.
[Image source.]

Stacy X

Real name: Miranda Leevald
Powers: The X-Men’s very own super-hooker. She gave off these super-powered pheromones that could stimulate any and all bodily functions. Including sexual ones. She also had scales covering most of her skin. You know, because reptiles are more alluring than humans. Stacy appeared in X-Men: The Last Stand, though she bore very little resemblance to her comic book counterpart.
[Image source.]

Tar Baby

Real name: unknown
Powers: This member of the sewer-dwelling Morlocks sweated a tar-like substance that caused anything and everything to stick to him. Were Marvel’s editors even awake that day?
[Image source.]

Ugly John

Real name: Steve
Powers: Another Grant Morrison creation, this one a mutant with no powers whatsoever. Just three faces on his normal-sized head. Poor sap.
[Image source.]

Xorn

Real name: Kuan-Yin Xorn
Powers: The poster child for the evils of retconning. Originally he was described as having a star for a brain (hence the metal headgear, needed to protect everyone around him), but then he turned out to be Magneto in disguise. Which was changed some time later to be a brainwashing thing. I can’t begin to explain it all. But a star for a brain? Seriously?
[Image source.]

Jim Henson and Stan Lee would both be proud of what DeviantArtist ~Rahzzah has created, don’t you think? The artist actually published this drawing on the day that marked the 21st anniversary of Jim Henson’s death. I don’t know about you, but it’s a tribute that anyone would appreciate.

Unfortunately, prints are not available as of now, as DeviantArt “won’t release this as a print for copyright issues.”

If the artist were accepting requests for future mashups, which characters would you like to see?

Granted, Shore does “this thing” for a living, but still his idea of creating his own story board is nothing but ace. The actual video – from the graphics to the haunting music to the putting together of all the elements – will captivate you. Even my 2-day-old nephew stopped his wailing when I put the video on!

Wolverine Vs The Hand from Gary Shore on Vimeo.

So what do you think? Doesn’t that want you to get more of Wolverine?

I can’t shake the feeling that I have seen all this before, and thus I find it difficult to get very enthusiastic about this latest X-Event. I wonder what ‘lasting consequences’ there will be from this particular reality shift. You know, lasting consequences like the Sugarman, Holocaust or the X-Man.

Oh wait, when did we last see them?

So I turn to the Distinguished Competition, and I discover this summer’s big event is the Flashpoint. Professor Zoom seems to be making alterations in the past that result in questions like “What if the spaceship never crashed?’

Still, it looks promising, DC have never done a great alternate reality story. Unless of course you add Trinity into the mix. Or the recent Booster Gold series. Or the Elseworlds. Or Tangent.

Plus fifteen accompanying mini-series? Fifteen? Seven or eight I could stomach, but this many? No wonder DC are making their price promise, they intend to strip our wallets with quantity instead.

Now I love my alternate reality stories. However, they must surely have their place, which is not spread over the entire universe. Been there, done that, countless times.

Give me zombie robots any day. Transformers Infestation #1 comes out today, and that has to be my advance recommendation for today.

Iron Man Tattoos

You will never hear me deny my obsession for this character – and Robert Downey, Jr. Naturally, he is first up on the list.

They say this tatt was spotted by someone somewhere in The Philippines.  Who knows? I just might run into this guy one of these days. Now I love Iron Man and RDJ (sometimes I can’t tell the difference) but I am not so sure about the depiction of IM’s head here.  What do you think? Mask on or mask off for this tatt?

Here’s a hand tattoo, which I think is pretty cool.  I’d be careful not to use this hand for tough jobs if I had this ink, though.

Not everyone wants a huge tattoo on their leg, but if this were the image, I wouldn’t think twice – would you?

Now this tattoo, I had a difficult time deciding whether to include or not.  On the one hand, the concept is cool.  On the other hand, it is very poorly done, don’t you think?

Wonder Woman Tattoos

Artist MeghanBeth says this took them three hours to complete, with the hair giving her the hardest time.  I think the effort was well worth it?  That cascade of black simply looks awesome, don’t you agree?

This Wonder Woman tatt, I like much better.

And, for a more meaningful Wonder Woman tatt (read: woman power and all that), check this out.

X-Men Tattoos

Very very powerful image, don’t you think?  And, the fact that it is purely done in black…I was staring at this for a while.

If the first one was simple (in terms of color), this one is literally fiery HOT.

Gotta love the concept.

Sure looks like this one hurt.  I just can’t get enough of Wolverine, though.  The guys at Ink & Dagger Tattoo Parlour are the geniuses behind this tatt.

Hulk Tattoos

The best of both worlds – that’s what this guy has with this tattoo.

If I had this “baby” on my back, I wouldn’t be apprehensive going out at night – alone, in a strange place.

This tatt cracks me up. I don’t know why, but it really does. It’s not just Hulk, of course, but it’s still worth including in this group.

Batman Tattoos

I love the colors used for this tatt, and I love the quote used in the site where I found it even more: “My world is all just shades of grey, Batman. That’s why you’ll never really understand me.”

Disturbing is the word that keeps repeating in my head. Definitely wouldn’t get one – wouldn’t even dream of it – but this tattoo does catch one’s eye, doesn’t it?

Pretty sassy Batgirl, this one is.   I also like how the colors blend.  It looks like it has just been done – notice the rawness? Doesn’t matter, though – I still like how it looks.

And, lest you are thinking “Where the heck is a Batman tattoo in this group?” here is an overly muscular version.

Spiderman Tattoos

From what I see, the image of this tattoo has been going around for quite some time now, but it has to be part of this list – no question about that.

Beautiful, isn’t he?

Superman Tattoos

Death of Superman chest tattoo – a good change from the usual emblem that everyone and their mom has, isn’t it?

Here’s another nice deviation from the usual emblem. If you like your steak very rare, the chances are that you’ll appreciate this tatt as well.

And for our last tattoo, here’s one of Superman himself.

Superman himself would be happy with this rendition, I reckon.

So there you have it – 23 of the coolest superhero tattoos I could find (for now).  Watch out for another feature on tatts in the next month or so!

“The set up of Chaos War reads just like the start of Crisis on Infinite Earths from the 80s! Am I right? #RamaRev“

Well, I had been looking forward to the Chaos War since I first heard of it. Of course I did, I love these huge team-ups and it’s about time that one of these cosmic level threats actually hit Earth. With an introduction like that as provided by @cavalock, I was even more excited. I mean, an intro like the Perez/Wolfman classic? How could that be bad?

Unfortunately, if only it was true. This felt more like the intro to Secret Wars II, or maybe the second issue of the Infinity War (a series I have always liked, but I will admit, not the most admirable in its execution). Uber-omni-mega-powerful being arrives, everybody is gathered together, and a threat to the entirety of existence.

Now, I cannot fault the build-up to this storyline, all the way through Secret Invasion and the Dark Reign, and I really really hope that the spin-off event series starring the deceased members of the Avengers and the X-Men help justify the event.  Let’s not forget the original Alpha Flight, who are long overdue their third or fourth resurrection. Now that I am pumped for. Mind you, seeing the various heroes active in the afterlife, as long as it’s not just some great slugfest is a great idea not seen since the days of Marvel UK’s Hells, sorry, Dark Angel.  It would be nice to see an ongoing or two come out of these. Are we ready for a Dead Avengers ongoing? (I’m not counting the X-Men, they get reborn at too high a rate.)

Yet the timing of this plotline is not exactly perfect either. Over in the Thanos Imperative we see the threat of Life incarnate infecting the universe, while here on Earth Amatsu-Mikaboshi is pulling what is basically a Nekron assault a la Blackest Night, wanting to return the universe to the state prior to it’s creation.  Both threats appear to be logical deus-ex-machinas capable of negating the other one. Now I know which of the two I am enjoying more so far, unfortunately it seems to be more underplayed. Hopefully given time, Chaos War will demonstrate why I should invest so much money in this ‘epic by the numbers’.

To be honest, I have read a lot of Greg Pak’s other work such as X-Men Phoenix Warsong, World War Hulk and of course the Incredible Hercules itself; and I do have my fingers crossed. I can’t help but feel a trifle disappointed however, when the preamble was reasonably intricate and the potential so great that this first issue was merely, well, bland.

Wasn’t the Punisher, when he first appeared, a character that although we may sympathise, we should despise? What does this victory demonstrate really? Is the House of Ideas (and by extension our world) in moral freefall? In a battle between the Punisher and the Marvel Universe, shouldn’t the universe win? So much for feel-good escapism! Heck, I would have accepted Galactus consuming the planet finally, and Frank becoming his herald! Now that does have potential – Frank, Herald of Galactus!

After the chaotic Fall Of The Hulks storyline, that was not the easiest to follow (any shipping issues aside, even with the issues all lined up, it’s not the easiest storyline to follow. However the new status quo (for as long as it lasts) is easy on the eyes (and brain) yet nicely multi-layered with histories both new and old, combining the appearance of sixties kitsch with solid storytelling. Having grown up with the Hulk, I really feel for him here in this new Hulk family, where the word dysfunctional would be a compliment.

X-Men Curse of the Mutants, despite my earlier criticism, is certainly exceeding my expectations. The spin-off issues make sense, the threat appears overwhelming but slow, and even more the whole epic is not taking over every single X-title, leaving us with a choice. The latest? Dracula is now resurrected and that is about as far as the storyline has gone. It’s nice to see the X-Men against a more central Marvel backdrop, and good to see Blade back as well.

Shadowland however does not score so well on my rankings. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot of fun, I like the characters involved, especially throwing in the Ghost Rider who just had a major plot development yet he is hardly the character one would expect to be in this mix. Yet here the spin-offs have spun maybe a little too far from the central plot, looking more like a marketing ploy rather than essential to the story. I hope the writers will prove me wrong, but a few months in, it doesn’t look hopeful.

Of course, every story is a marketing ploy, that’s the point. But I don’t like my face rubbed in it.

On the other side of the isle, the latest issue of Brightest Day keeps the promise of the series going, and the theories being thrown around about Firestorm are, well, cool, I don’t want to give anything away. Interestingly, there is a slight re-interpretation of previous continuity but in a good way, adding a new layer rather than contradicting the past. I love to see Firestorm in the spotlight, his one hundred issue run was one of my favourites of all time. Since that title was cancelled however, Ronnie Raymond rather had a poor deal in terms of characterisation and was morphed into a whiny selfish self-centred failure.  I pray we will see the old Ronnie return in these pages, because it’s about time.

One point that IGN suggested was

Or perhaps this could be an opportunity to explain the franchise’s multiple continuities not unlike what J.J. Abrams did with Star Trek.

This makes a lot of sense, and unlike the Marvel franchise of movies which seem to be coming thick and fast, this is relatively early enough (yeah, I know it’s been over twenty years, but I’m talking more quantity than time) in the DC movieverse to introduce the concept of the multiverse. Hollywood has never really been bound by such trivial issues as continuity when it comes to the super-heroes movie, but this move would really give them free reign over future projects, with no doubt new actors, and the potential to totally re-imagine our favorites in ways we hadn’t seen before.

Then just think, as the technology advances, in thirty years time or so, when the digitalisation of actors such as what was done in the Crow after the untimely death of Brandon Lee becomes far more affordable, we can finally see that Crisis On Infinite Earths movie that we, erm, I have dreamed of. Starring all of the original actors. Sort of.

(Dare I give a plug for a Marvel Vs DC movie as well? Dare I?)

It has always surprised me that we have never seen more of the digital actor, but as I recall it remains tremendously expensive. However in the production of The Crow, it was too expensive for the studio not to consider and do this.

Marvel then would have a tricky situation. How could they also introduce the same concept without being accused of blatant plagiarism? Simple.

It’s time for a X-Men – Days of Future Past movie, as soon as possible, culminating in Rachel Summers’ arrival in the present. And so the story continues……..

I may well be drawing my pension by the time these ideas ever see daylight, but it gives me something to live for.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to see the Atom back in action in a story of his own, as he has had little focus after the events of Countdown in my opinion. Yet Brightest Day – The Atom one shot barely made mention of the emotional rollercoaster that Ray Palmer has been through in the last few years (and to be honest, he has been less than lucky over most of his career). It should have been a first issue that engaged me, giving a brief summary somewhere of his history, explained that if his head was up his backside that there are reasonably profound reasons for it. Yet all we got was a mediocre issue that felt almost as if it was in the middle of an ongoing series. There was so much missing, and it was hardly remarkable, almost story telling by numbers. In fact any hero could have played that role, there was nothing that made it definate that the Atom should be the central character, and I’m sorry, but Professor Palmer deserves better than that. Continued in Adventure Comics? That’s where it should have started. As a back-up strip.

As Second Coming draws to a close (and as exciting as it was, I still don’t really see the point), X-Men Volume 3 hits the shelves. Thus launches Curse Of The Mutants, or in easier parlance Mutants Vs Vampires. Now this I can enjoy, and I am looking forward to seeing the mystic underground (things that go bump in the night, and those that bump them) mixing with the mutant underground, and the politics of the two clashing.  I like to think we have seen the foreshadowing of this in X-Factor, what with M’s bargain with Baron Mordo.  Wouldn’t he make a great team member? Especially after his so-called redemption in the later issues of Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme? We can wait for a few years until Dormannu comes a-calling again, after all, if Magneto can be rehabilitated, why not Mordo? (Now there’s a duo I would love to see in action.)

The very thought of the act of vampire terrorism has so many levels to it as well, both real world and mainstream earth ramifications. Give me more.

It shows that I have not been reading everything though. I picked up Shadowland #1, and what on Earth has happened to Daredevil.  I would not call this an ideal jumping on point, but it has made me want to go out and read all of the back issues to find out just how Matt Murdock has ended up doing his own Darth Vader impression. As leader of the Hand, the first issue implies that Matt has failed with the Hand where Jimmy Woo has (hopefully) succeeded with ATLAS. Matt will only work in concert with his friends if they swear loyalty to the Hand? I don’t think there is any decent language that can express my sense of erm, confusion to say the least. A certain three letter abbreviation springs to mind.

Finally, what can I say about Hit-Monkey? I don’t want to give anything away, except to state that all of a sudden, he makes a lot more sense as a character. And not a Marvel Ape in sight. I look forward to seeing a lot more of this character and I really hope he is the next big thing, Punisher-style.

The Punisher is a success as a Frankenstein rip-off, but it does mean he needs a successor, and this little monkey should be it. He’s certainly no Foolkiller. And that’s a good thing.

Take this weeks Astonishing X-Men #34.  If like me you have been more than disappointed with the last couple of years characterisation of Scotts Summers, Cyclops; even though this harder, more results orientated version of him can be traced back to the original Secret Wars (losing his first wife, having his second revealed as a clone and transmuted to a demonic entity, losing his son, having his first wife return from the dead and get killed again can’t have had a good effect, not to mention being possessed by Apocalypse.  That’s gotta leave a stain!), then you will love the dressing down delivered by the Beast. And I quote…

“And this ‘I am the big dog who wants to know your name and then kill you twice’ crap?”

Now how can you compete with that? The Beast is fulfilling his duty as a good friend, and reigning in one of his oldest friends, worried that Cyke is seeing death not as the last resort, but more and more frequently one of the primary options.  It’s not like we haven’t all noticed.

With the stress that Scott has been under (I neglected to mention the slaughter of all of his in-laws family, and the death of his father) there is little wonder that he has become so jaded. Still, how long can we see Scott play up to the role of the’worlds’ greatest super-hero’ and becoming increasingly cavalier and reprehensible before we all hate him?  He is the spine of hte X-Men, nearly as ubiquitous as Wolverine.  If we hate him, what would that do the sales figures?

I never thought of Warren Ellis as a instrument of healing!  But I really hope that this is the start of a long walk back into the light.

With Futurama prepared to launch 12 new episodes on Comedy Central starting June 24th I knew it was only a matter of time before a bunch of various promotional materials arrived and one of the first pieces of promotional material is an X-Men redrawing of the cast.

Notice that it’s Fry as a Cyclops in this version instead of the already Cyclops drawn Lea. I also really like Dr. Zoidberg, the loveable, yet always confused lobster who is drawn with Adamantium Wolverine like claws.

The artwork, courtesty of GottaBeCarl at DeviantArt also features the rest of the Planet Express crew.

You’ll also see other favorites including Zapp Brannigan as Magneto, which looks cool, but let’s face it Magneto is an engaging, very smart nemesis to Xavier and Brannigan lacks pretty much everything in the brains department.

Be a judge for yourself and take a look at the poster shown above and leave us a comment with your favorite characters from the re-drawing.

Warren Ellis takes on the X-Men in the newest incarnation of the Astonishing X-Men, presumably set after all the Second Coming event has come to a conclusion. I like Ellis’ writing, and if he can stay true to the spirit of the X-Men (spiritus-superior?) while bringing in elements of his irreverent humour then this should be a grand ride.

In the meantime, Bruce Wayne works his way back to the future from prehistoric times at the hands of Grant Morrison. Considering that we are promised a Puritan Batman and a Pirate Batman, I’m wondering which direction Grant will take with this title. Emotionally charged stories with a touch of surrealism? Or will his love of the sixties kitsch of comics shine through?

With Final Crisis, Grant showed his love for the more forgotten institutions of DC, with a vast arrange of Kirby legacies both from the New Gods and from Kamandi. (On that note, where is the Kamandi ongoing that was intimated?)

The Tiger-men, Caesar, not withstanding the plague that swept New Earth 51 . I think I got the number right, but then wasn’t it the second time that earth had been destroyed in Countdown? The story was so convoluted that even I lose track now.

Then again, who could forget the reprise of Jimmy Olsen, as Giant-Turtle Boy. Versus Darkseid no less! How cool was that?

Still, if you really want to see Grant’s love of comics history, then you only have to read four issues (the conclusion of his run on Animal Man not-withstanding), and that is of the classic Flex Mentallo mini-series. A presumptuous meta-fiction with many levels of ‘reality’, you could simply feel yourself there with Wallace (or more to the point, teenage Grant himself), devouring comic after comic. The whole series made me remember my first fascination with comics as I discovered hero after hero, world after world.

So let’s see if this weeks offering give us the magic of the Invisibles, the wonder of Flex Mentallo, the humour of Nextwave and the paced story-telling of Planetary.

Oh, and Siege finishes, and the other Blackest Night/Brightest Day spin-offs commence. But I think my attention has wandered already.

Well it’s been a rough week for the X-Men, with a number of big names dying this week.

Of course, we all know that mutant heaven has revolving doors, but I doubt some of the smaller names will be given the same grace as the more major stars.
It’s a been a bad week to be a teleporter (without giving away any spoilers). Magik disabled by some invocation summoning some unspeakable evil. I know Bastion is partly a futuristic super computer, but still! Tactically brilliant but somehow a little out of place.

Still, Illyana has been in worse scrapes, and we must recall that this is not Illyana, merely the DarkChylde.

One character I doubt will be receiving a resurrection is that of Ariel, incinerated as a missle hit the car in which she was travelling.  Of course Wolverine and  X-23 manage to walk out of the wreckage, but Ariel was not so lucky.

Her fifteen minutes of fame arrived with her first appearance in the Fallen Angels back in the late Eighties.  Not technically a mutant but an extra-terrestrial from the curiously named world of Coconut Grove, she came to earth on a mission to recruit mutants for research by her race, hoping to create mutations in themselves.  Considering that it was implied all of her race had the ability to bend space as she did, this was more than a little greedy.

Ariel switched loyalties when her homeworlders realised that her ability to influence peoples decisions was a mutant power in and of itself, and she returned her allies to Earth. But like the New Mutants supporting character Gossamyr, she vanished into obscurity until recently. How and why she was now part of the X-tribe was never explained, although her return was celebrated here with sentiments close to mine. Was she on the run from Coconut Grove, that hell second only to Hollywood? Or on yet another mission?

Will her death have repercussions? Will the Grovers (ooo, bad name, visions of Sesame Street) pursue her, or want revenge for her passing? How would the Earth fight off an invasion of space-benders? Who will the X-Men now rely upon for cutting edge fashion advice (even if it is by way of Dame Edna).

It is a crying shame that Ariel’s return to the spotlight has been so very brief. I hope this is not the end we have heard of Coconut Grove.

Doomwar #3

This last weekend saw C2E2 in Chicago, and the boards are afire with many of the teasers and trailers released, especially by Marvel.

“A new series, simply titled X-Men, will be launching this fall, and it will put mutants vs. vampires in an epic showdown.” With guest-stars such as Spider-Man, Blade and She-Hulk, this places the X-Men back into interacting with the rest of the Marvel universe, and their first threat being that of the vampires.

This has received mixed reactions. Over at IGN, one poster Kung-Fu Blunt commented “guh, vampires? c’mon marvel why have you got to chase the trends. if i see one more vampire movie releasing i might shoot myself. enough with the vampires. why dont we obsess over mummies for a change. they wear bandages, im sure that will fit in with some peoples sense of fashion.” (sic)

Well, mummies are around again, N’Kantu has been seen in the Punisher (who has also been reborn as a creation of Frankenstein, which you have to admit is a dramatic change of direction and pretty cool, not that it will last), and another mummified character returned to the heroic ideal in recent issues of Project Super-Powers.

Still, mummies neither have the trendy ‘tween-appeal of vampires or the mass-media saturation of zombies. I have to say, if I do not see another zombie for a year, I won’t mind.  The conclusion of Deadpool Merc With A Mouth and the phenomenal Walking Dead not-withstanding of course. (Did you hear the latter will be a TV series soon? Thank god it’s not the former even if he might be getting a movie.)

Dracula made a reappearance just after the Secret Invasion as he attempted to invade the United Kingdom in the pages of Captain Britain and M.I.13, a brilliant title that disappeared into Limbo way to soon.  Still, as a title character, can Captain Britain really carry a title in an predominantly American market? Obviously not. (Thanks guys, I’m tempted here to echo the cries of ‘We want our country back!’ but maybe not in the more fashionable use of the phrase.)

Vampires have returned to the Marvel Universe several years ago now since the destruction of the Montesi formula, but have been quite underused. In story-telling terms, by now they will have established quite the power base, so it is about time. With Dracula having political relationships with Doom, it’s a wonder he never made a move on Osbourne.

Still, it would be nice to see Marvel set trends again instead of follow them.

Back to my original point though, the X-Men have been separatists since the Civil War, even operating alone during the Secret Invasion. If the Heroic Age is upon us, then it is only right they get a little more involved.  The last time such a thing occurred (other than major events like House Of M or even as far back as the Bloodties crossover with the Avengers) was the original Secret Wars.  They sure could use the good PR.

And how cool would vampire-hunting Sentinels be?

One announcement I welcome is the Avengers Children’s Crusade.  And I quote ‘Avengers: Children’s Crusade will see the teenage team uniting with their older mentors and friends, as well as X-Men, to seek out the missing Scarlet Witch. Children’s Crusade is a nine-issue project and is scheduled to ship bi-monthly. ‘The critically acclaimed Young Avengers team of Allan Heinberg and Jimmy Cheung reunite for the Avengers story you demanded! The one, true Scarlet Witch is back and it’s a race between the Avengers, Young Avengers, Magneto and Doctor Doom (!) to find her.’

Somewhere I read that Avengers of all eras will be involved.  In the present day? Or could she be in the hands of Immortus?  He always did have a thing for her, and he has not been seen since the Destiny War. (Although I read this an hour or so ago, I can’t find it now. I hope it’s not just wishful thinking on my part.)

So either this is a time-travelling Doom or he survives the Doomwar.  Then again, of course he will survive the Doomwar. Doom is eternal and will not be bested by lesser beings.

Oops, slipped into the propaganda there.  But today sees the shipping of Doomwar #3 and I am psyched.  The story had a big build up (though where to place in relation to Siege on the timeline, I’m not quite sure), and this is what Doom stories should be.  Big, and political, with ramifications dripping off every page. I only hope this mini lives up to what it should be.  Maybe Doom will have to flee into time to avoid T’Challa and Namor, always a delightful ménage-a-trois.

All Hail Doom!

X-Factor returns in X-Factor Forever #1

As much as I have enjoyed X-Men Forever, I have expressed my doubts about the title in general, but with last weeks release of X-Factor Forever gives it a whole sister title, and I confess I really like the idea. Taking What-If a step further, while providing stories with which we readers have an emotional investment, which I suppose was the reaction to many readers to the new Claremont series, but that passed me by.

I adored Louise Simonson’s run on X-factor at the time, and although there is a slight disconnect for me when seeing the domestic bliss aboard Ship, this was a return to more halcyon days, before the Shadow King, the Muir Isle Saga and the big shake up. The Muir Isle saga was a classic story that engaged all the X-Fans, but the consequences, not so much. Even if it did give rise to Peter David’s run on X-Factor.

As a marketing technique, I love it. No longer any need for large cohesive lines that are forced to interweave plot lines and promote both each other and a specific style. That is not to criticise the alternative lines, but in the wake of Ultimatum, Ultimate Marvel seems to have drifted in the same apocalyptic direction as WildStorm (only not quite so drastically), where as other lines have fallen into obscurity. Remember the Ultraverse? Or the New Universe? 2099?

How about a Mantra Forever title? Or in my mind a must-have – D.P.7 Forever. Strikeforce Morituri? Unique stand –alone titles that can rise or fall on their own merits, not dependant of a mass media launch, or half a dozen shared universe titles. Free from the editorial chains of the mainstream titles, yet thanks to the regularity of dimension hopping we can still see crossovers. Exiles Forever without even having their own title!

Louise Simonson clearly states where she intends to go with this title, and I for one am looking forward to as she describes a whole new direction for mutant history.

I remember the Beast stating in ‘Extinction Of The Species’ that M-Day had wiped mutants from all the neighbouring realities as well. The interdimensional tsunami seen in the House Of M and combated by Captain Britain and Psylocke reinforced that statement. Still, one has to wonder how far those effects travelled, it didn’t seem to bother the Exiles.

Then again, that is all several years away in both of the Forever titles.

I do wonder if these will only appeal to older readers like myself, or whether younger readers picking these up will be encouraged to dive into the back issue bins and the trade paperbacks. I hope so.

Let’s see more of these. Alpha Flight Forever. Fallen Angels Forever (especially since Ariel seems to have shared the very edge of the spotlight recently). Thunderstrike Forever.

Any suggestions people? What would you like to see?

Let’s begin with the definition of a speedrun first.

A speedrun is a play-through, or recording thereof, of a video game performed with the intent of completing it as quickly as possible, optionally under certain prerequisites, mainly for the purposes of entertainment and competition.

Wikipedia

Throughout my 25+ years of gaming I have tried a number of speedruns, but have succeeded in exactly zero of them. To accomplish a speedrun not only do you need patience and a thorough understanding of the game’s mechanics, but you also need a bit of memorization and actually be GOOD at video games. Now we are all good at games, but this kind of good is taking things to a whole new level as you will soon see.

The NES era of games is a great test area for speedruns because many of the games were short platformers. Okay they weren’t short when I played them, but these players make quick work of each game. While you may be taking a ten minute break to plant your crops in Farmville, some person is zipping through Batman with ease.

Many of these runs are done with emulators so that they could be recorded. In no way should this take away the achievements that each of these players have accomplished.

1. Contra

There are a number of reasons why I wouldn’t be able to pull this one off and of course the first revolves around not being able to use the Konami code. The second means I would have to beat the game in single player mode. I don’t think I ever tried, but I am pretty sure I never even came close in beating the game without the aid of a partner.

I tend to think that the game was easy only because I had 30 lives and another person had 30 also, but I definitely died more than three times during my runs so the game wasn’t as easy as I remember it to be. I’m not sure if this run is done on memorization or instinct, but the player in it is good. Damn good.

2. Batman

One of my favorite NES games of all time. It was challenging, but not to the point you wanted to throw the controller at the screen. I actually beat this game and I remember feeling like the greatest video game pimp in the whole wide world. Unfortunately this player makes me feel like I should go back to lincoln logs and leave the real gaming to the pros. I didn’t even know you could hit an enemy and just run right through them while they were flashing. I probably took at least 5x as long to beat the game as this guy.

As I mentioned, the game was challenging so I could never pull this off because I was guaranteed a couple of deaths from time to time. My jumping wasn’t as accurate as I would have liked it to be. He must’ve been the true Batman.

3. X-Men

This game was crap. It was easily one of the worst games on the NES and if you know the NES games catalog you know that means a lot. It hurt even more that the X-Men were my favorite superheroes and there was a time where I would do anything to make enough money to buy the new comic book editions that came out each month.

The fact that this person was able to even get through the game without smashing his head through the TV is nothing short of amazing and reason #1 why I would never have been able to finish the game. The fact the this person doesn’t even switch toons in midlevel is another amazing feat.

If you watch the video you will see that it’s almost impossible to even tell what is going on and you aren’t even playing it. Man this game blew.

4. Marble Madness

This game was hard enough to control with a trackball, it was even more difficult to control with the rigid NES gamepad. The run shown above unfortunately isn’t the NES run, which doesn’t let you embed, but it is the exact same game.

I first played this game on my Grandmother’s Amiga computer and don’t remember how far I got, but I definitely never beat it. Each level took me forever because I felt you had to be super precise when apparently you could just fly through corners if you wanted to. I’ll have to keep this in mind next time I decide to give the game a shot. Of course I will need to put down Plants vs. Zombies first. Hm, maybe Marble Madness would be a good iPhone game. Someone get on it.

5. Mega Man 2

My second favorite NES game of all time. It might be weird calling this a speedrun considering the video is over 39 minutes long, but if you played the game then you know there are just delays in it that you can’t speed through. There are definitely two specific parts in this game that would trip me up. I did beat the game, however these two parts always took me a couple tries. The first one is the Quick Man stage, the second level the player in the video runs through. The second one is the Dragon in Dr. Wily’s castle. Of course I would die many more times in other parts, but I know if I had a perfect run going, those two parts would be my downfall.

Instead of Marble Madness give me Mega Man on my iPod Touch.

6. Super Mario Bros. 2

Of course I am referring to the American version of Super Mario Bros. 2. The only reason I wouldn’t be able to accomplish the speed run as this player has done is because he uses Luigi and makes him look godly. Seriously, has Luigi ever looked so good before? Then he moves to Toad and you would think he was Arnie in Predator. Excuse me while I just run through everyone to the end of the board.

Although this game was fun it was my least favorite of the trilogy. Super Mario Bros. 3 being my all-time favorite and the original just being a classic. I guess I didn’t like stopping to pick up some radish to throw at some weird looking bird hopping my way. Stupid enough we had to kill Bowser each level in the original, now you give us Birdo to throw eggs at every 30 seconds? I pass.

7. Super Mario Bros.

This run just leaves me speechless. The amount of close calls and exploits performed by this player go to show I would never even come close to perfecting a run like this. Every jump is well-timed and executed to perfection. Rarely do you see the player do a full jump and apparently there is no need when you can just hop and skip over every bad guy. Some claim that this was run using cheats, but I can see it happening like this due to it being one of the first Nintendo games around so glitches are bound to be part of it.

8. Double Dragon 1, 2 & 3

You read that right. This is a speed run of all three games run back to back. Solo. No restarts. Under an hour including endings. I shouldn’t even have to explain why I wouldn’t be able to pull this one off, but I know I never beat any of these games without a partner. Maybe I just like playing video games with others or maybe I wasn’t as skilled a gamer as I thought as a 10 year old.

There you have it, my top 8(+2) speedruns of games from the NES era. Did you ever try a speedrun and succeed?

Dark X-Men #5

Spoiler alert for Dark X-Men #5. You may want to read the issue before reading this column.

This week saw the end of the Dark X-Men series, and I must admit this has been one of my favourite Dark Reign spin-offs. I was overjoyed to see the return of the X-Man, and I hope this isn’t the last we see of him, but his short term prospects do not appear great. In the future, I would love to see him teamed with Noh-Varr, they now have a lot in common, both screwed over by Osbourne, and both tasked with the defence of humanity on a global scale.

Still, even Nathan Summers was not the highlight of the series for me. Each of this characters (barring maybe Weapon Omega, although he shows promise) have been favourite characters of mine, and each of them have received an abject lesson in this story.

Mystique learns how she has quite clearly backed the wrong horse. Again. You would think she would have learnt by now, but her time as one of Xavier’s operatives and her many encounters with the X-Men seem to have taught her nothing. She leaves the series as owned by Osbourne as when she began.

The Mimic was given glimpses of the potential he could reach. If you happened to read Exiles, then we know what Calvin could be here in the real world, erm, I mean mainstream world (I must remember they are different. They are!). He needs to be put in a team where he can finally, well, grow a pair. Maybe Marvel should have him fall in love and either have a child or lose his partner in an Uncle Ben situation. After all, he could be up there with Nate Grey and Noh-Varr. But not while he remains the poster boy for depression.

Then again, more attention could be paid to his depression, he has been clinically diagnosed if I remember correctly, and that is story worthy in and of itself, but only in a team book. I don’t want Calvin to miraculously recover, it has to be believable else it denigrates the topic, but he needs to walk the path of the hero sometime. After all, we’ve only been waiting since the Sixties.

So Weapon Omega, Michael Pointer, is potentially the most important mutant on the face of the planet according to Nate? Now there’s a tidbit! However, what’s the chances that throwaway comment will disappear into the mists of obscurity?

I’ve not got a great deal to say about the Dark Beast, except how can you not love this character. He is the perfect corruption of everything Henry McCoy is, and long may he reign. He is a perfect sleeping threat, much like Mr Sinister under the shadow of Apocalypse was for so many years.

However, the very best insight has to be how, within the confines of Norman’s fractured mind, both Norman and the Goblin have made peace, and both support each other. We have seen this implied with his many conversations with his reflection over the years, but here we see something new. The Goblin acts in Norman’s interest, rather than simply his own. Has Norman finally found approval from his daddy issues?

Whatever the fate of Osbourne, this team needs to continue. After all they have the explosive chips inside of them in a true Suicide Squad tradition, so who would be the best person to take the reins? Valerie Cooper? Henry Peter Gyrich? Doom? Or maybe some new mover and shaker, taking up the mantle of the late Senator Kelly?

I sincerely hope this is not the last we have seen of this team.  They need a few more members, but they must not fade away, they have too much potential.  Are you listening Marvel?

You know, I’ve been saying to all my friends for years now, “Why don’t they make a hi-def TV with my favorite Marvel comic book characters on it?” Guess what? They’ve finally done it.It’s like the peanut butter and chocolate combination of this century.

That’s right, Marvel Comics has teamed up with RTC23, to release a new line of LED and LCD televisions with your favorite Marvel character emblazoned across the bottom. Like Wolverine? Pick out the 22″ LCD model, perfect for your computer or home television viewing. Maybe you want a big screen? They have a full line of 40″ LED TVs too, including an OG Silver Surfer, or old-school Captain America, as pictured above. LCDs go as big as 55″ as well, plus some models have color-coded bezels and bases, so you can have a green screen for your Hulk monitor or classic black with Ghost Rider.

So what’s the point? I mean, I’m a comic book fan, but even I wonder if this would look alright in my living room. But after thinking about it for a bit, I realized that this is perfect for a few different situations. Got a game room? Toss one of these bad boys in there and it will look perfect next to your life-size cutout of Spider-Man, and the Iron Man helmet you bought at Comic Con last year. Or, you could use one of these for your home computer setup. Pair two monitors with different characters next to each other and have them fight it out while you’re messing around online.

The cherry on top though is the pricing. The smaller monitors aren’t priced that well when compared to a Dell unit, but the bigger LEDs aren’t priced too badly considering. You can even get into a 55″ LED for under $2gs, which isn’t great, but not price gouging either.

It’s not for everybody, but for the ultimate fanboy who’s got to have it all, this is the one thing you could lord over your friends and show off with pride.

Alright, I’m just going to come out and say it. I didn’t like any of the X-Men movies, nor did I like Wolverine. I thought they were all quivering piles of dog poo, festering in the stink of bad directing and horrible plot lines. Let me explain.

I grew up with the X-Men. Chris Claremont and John Byrne were my heroes back in the day, which eventually led to Jim Lee and others taking over the realm. I loved the storylines, the mythos, and the general concept. Here was this group of misfits, who didn’t fit in anywhere, and they were really awesome. The Genosha storyline rocked, the Dark Phoenix Saga was one I had to hunt down and buy back issues of but I loved it, and the Psylocke transition was dope as hell. Somewhere along the way, I lose my interest in buying comics every Wednesday, but I still pick up the occasional title here and there when I can, just to catch up.

But what makes the X-Men the X-Men are their costumes. Different, yet the same; flashy and bright yet understated. That’s why the first strike against the movies for me was the leather unitards. It was just stupid. Then Rogue was a kid, Colossus was barely a character until the third one, and Magneto’s helmet was a bit too phallic for me.

There was one savior: Wolverine. I didn’t think Hugh Jackman was the best choice at first, but he ended up proving it to me in the end. He took the role seriously – the same way Tobey Maguire did with Spider-Man – and ran with it. Yes, I would’ve preferred to see him with that trademark helmet, but who knows if that’s even physically possible.

As for X-Men Origins: Wolverine, it sucked. The plot sucked, the concept was weird – bone claws? Really? – and then the whole Deadpool thing. It was too many characters stuffed into one pot, and no one cared about any of them, much less Wolverine. Plus, the special effects were a little choppy. Remember the sink scene? Those blades looked fake as all get out.

Now, word is that Wolverine 2 is going to start filming in Japan in January of 2011. That means that the storyline is the famous Samurai storyline from the ’80s (I think it was the ’80s, correct me if I’m wrong). I loved that series, and it gives the movie a whole lot of room to grow. The question is whether or not they’ll screw it up like everything else so far. I’ve got my money on screwed up, but I’m just a cynic behind a keyboard. Who knows what will really happen.

Actually, I know. I know I’ll be renting it or picking it up on video, but chances are, I won’t see it in theaters.

Nation X #3

So Diamond Lil is dead.

Well, actually she died a few weeks ago, in the attack of Selene’s techno-zombies or Necroshites on the X-Men’s new home Utopia.

I was disappointed in the manner in which she died, or at least how little attention her death was given. She was treated (in my eyes) as nothing more than a throwaway character, her presence and subsequent death a mere triviality.

Let me get this straight. Diamond Lil is not a throwaway character. She first appeared in Alpha Flight back in 1984, was at first a Gamma-Flight trainee and then fell into villainous ways with Omega Flight.

We were there when she redeemed herself as a valuable ally against the threat of Llan the Sorcerer. We were still there as the major crossovers of the time, the Infinity Trilogy took over the title, and led IMHO to its demise.

We saw her escape Weapon X and fall into the company of the then mutant messiah Mister M, and later return to the fold in arriving at Utopia.

Madison Jeffries, Box had his own story in Nation X #3 last week, but really it was Lil’s story, the story that Madison’s continued presence must always honour. It resolves many of the issues and questions that I confess had occurred to me, and I’m sure many other fellow Alphans. Nation X as a series is growing on me, I’m almost disappointed that the next instalment is the final one, because they may only be 8 page stories, but with a cast as large as the X-Men currently have (possibly greater now than the cast of the Legion Of Super-Heroes), these little shorts are needed.

What am I looking forward to this week? Buffy #33, Adventure Comics #8 Great Ten #5 (if you’ve not read this yet, give it a go), the culmination of JLA Cry For Justice, and of course, Milestone Forever #2.

From the House Of Ideas, The Savage She-Hulks get their spotlight in the Fall Of The Hulks, which gets better as the plot unfolds. Oh, and Hope, the current mutant messiah gets her own one shot.

My recommendation above all others? Avatar’s God Complex #4. Don’t miss it.