5 Things Star Wars Needs To Do To Stay Badass
Most people fell back in love with the Star Wars franchise when it first came out, with the prequels really sullying our good memories of the original trilogy (that would come to define all sci fi movies that came after it). But then the prequels happened and (insert what you already know about how shitty they were here) and that kind of fucked up everything. But just when we felt like there was no new hope (yes, that was on purpose) “J.J. Abrams, reboot master” pops into the picture and gives us fans a Star Wars experience back we have been so hungry for in the last decade (or three). But after Rogue One some people have some questions and concerns. The movie was by no means bad, but at this point, how does a badasss franchise that has pretty much milked itself dry stay badass?
But just when we felt like there was no new hope (yes, that was on purpose) “J.J. Abrams, reboot master” pops into the picture and gives us fans a Star Wars experience back we have been so hungry for in the last decade (or three). But after Rogue One some people have some questions and concerns. The movie was by no means bad, but at this point, how does a badasss franchise that has pretty much milked itself dry stay badass?
Just follow these five simple rules I came up with. I may not be George Lucas but I can definitely handle his franchise better than he can at this point, and now that Abrams is out of the picture, should we be concerned? Read on to find out.
This fake trailer gets it.
No, I don’t want Star Wars to get erection. I am referring to that Kevin Hart movie (you know, that one where Kevin Hart plays Kevin Hart?). In this sense, getting hard means toughening up. I have said it before and will say it again but more GEN-X’ers and baby boomers fill the seats to those new movies more than the tweens do. WE grew up on the series. So why not age like we did a bit (and I don’t mean get old, many of the cast did that, actually. R.I.P Carrie Fisher).
I mean make a Star Wars that deals with heavier issues and maybe has some actual blood. I can PROMISE you an R-Rated Star Wars would do fantastic at the box office and redefine the way people looked at it (A.K.A lose the whole “it’s for kids” rep it has had for 40 years now). You know C-3PO uses that red arm for fisting, let’s not even play games.
Don’t Just Reboot Us
Only a sinner would delete scenes from a Star Wars movie.
As a lot of us came to realize, The Force Awakens wasn’t as much of a new Star Wars movie as it was a sort of refresh of the first plot with some new faces and side stories. I thought it worked really well to bring us back INTO that world, but we need more than that to keep us coming back.
In other words, if Star Wars VIII in the series coming at the end of this year is just a reboot of Empire Strikes Back, (we will be kinda happy because that IS the BEST Star Wars movie, period) but we will also start becoming weary. Using the base storyline as the roots for this new story is great, but please, take us in unexpected directions.
But keep the second movie in this trilogy thematically as dark as Empire. That is what made Empire so jaw-dropping in the first place, it left the audience hopeless at the end.
Flip the Switches
A redemption down the road for Kylo Ren would be awesome to see!
Obviously, what is laid out on the table for us is Rey getting more masterful at her Jedi skills while Kylo Ren does the same, only on the evil side. How about Rey finds out about her past and is disgusted and goes bad (she was orphaned, after all) and Ren realizes he has been manipulated this whole time by the bad guys and his family LOVED him. Boom, he regrets killing his Dad and severing his familial ties, and he goes full- good to take down Rey, who is clearly more powerful than him right now.
THAT WOULD KICK-ASS!
That is the kinda shit I mean. Throw some curves that do not fit into the Jedi blueprint to really redefine the series and keep us wet. Yes, our vaginas. Even us men. Wet them and wet them good with twists and turns on this ride NONE of us can see coming (pun intended yet again).
Add Some Mass Effect Elements
Yup, just watch these scenes to understand.
I am sorry, but whether you know it or not, Mass Effect was bioware doing an original Star Wars. They had done KOTR (best Star Wars game ever BTW) and after that and Jade Empire, they decided to take a stab at the space opera themselves and the end result was astounding and some of the best sci fi we have had in years. So as much as Mass Effect borrowed from Star Wars, maybe Star Wars needs to repay the favor. I know what you are thinking. How?
One of the cooler elements of the game was bringing together a ragtag group of different SPECIES who did not always get along and your Shepard had to do some politicking to get them to agree or work together. Yet everyone who joins in on the good guy side of the Star Wars movies always pretty much just get along from the start, outside minor bickering.
How about we enliven the gang a little by adding some warring species into the mix. It would be a great way to address racial tension in our world right now and it would make it all feel just a little less “by the books” and a little more realistic. No crew of any massive craft of any kind all get along, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn how to work together. Seeing that evolution could benefit the series greatly.
More of The Stuff We Love
I got me a Fett Fetish.
A good example of this is Boba Fett. We all loved Boba Fett then they dropped him into the sarlacc pit and that was that (except in extended U where he actually escaped but we will leave that alone). That was weak. Then you get the most badass Game of Thrones female character, put her in super shiny armor, and use her for two minutes in TFA. What was that? So many people went into that movie thinking Captain Phasma was gonna be a favorite. And then puff. Gone. Not cool.
Granted, we didn’t see her go into compactors like Finn said, so we have to assume she is alive and we will see her again but don’t play with your fan’s balls like that. Give us less of the wrinkly old CG lady and more of the badass characters we love to hate to love and you know what Star Wars, you just might make the 100 movies you clearly have in mind.
Just be careful, a movie a year is a great way to burn people out, especially if they are all so similar. Just ask Marvel who seems to go with a movie a month now. You don’t want to drown your audience in material, you want to give them just enough that they choose to jump in and swim. Follow these steps and that is just what will continue to happen with Star Wars.