I think we all just need to accept the fact, right now, that we will be overtaken by robots at some point. First, they will take our jobs. Then, they will disguise themselves as us and steal our spouses. Then, they shall tear off their fake skin and distend their jaws to swallow our infants whole, the same way a snake would a small fawn. Anyone who thinks evil A.I will not take over the world is living in a constant state of denial, and they will most certainly be the first ones digested by our neo metal Gods. I, for one, embrace our new robotic overlords with open arms. I know my role. Here are 6 movies featuring evil A.I that are really just glimpses into the future. All hail the robots, our kind overseers and speakers of only truth!


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHjIqQBsPjk&w=640&h=360]

Isn’t it mind blowing to think this movie was made in 1968. LONG before Suri and cellphones. Long before ALL OF US relied on A.I all the time (think GPS, texts, emails), Stanley Kubrick already knew just how f*cked we were. This really is the evil A.I that jump started the craze in film.

They needed the A.I to survive. The A.I evolved and went insane. It pretty much was the blueprint for all A.I movies to come. They either become insane, or become self aware enough to know humans suck and they don’t need us.

The Matrix

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx_jlOb5sbw&w=640&h=360]

Really, if you watch the Animatrix and follow the full story enough, it really is just about us living in a simulation, controlled by evil A.I. We can say ‘the architect”, but we all know that was some God metaphor bullshit. At the heart of it, The Matrix series is really about how humanity becomes the machine’s bitch.

The only difference being, we won’t have a f*cking Neo to save us when or if it happens.


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eajuMYNYtuY&w=640&h=480]

This one is at least interesting and kind of exciting in the sense that the machines actually show up and shoot us and shit. In most of the others, the takeover was slow, and often mental. In the Terminator moves, these dudes just show up and start murdering people.

I mean, I know the reality of it would suck, but at least we would go out fighting.


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzV6mXIOVl4&w=640&h=360]

This entry on the list is a lot more subtle than the others.  Evil A.I, Remy? She is just a phone A.I that becomes self-aware. Yes, but do not forget in the end of that movie (SPOILERS), you see that the A.I moves beyond the need for humans, but not before making a shitload of humans fall in love with them. Oh, and then they just upped and bounced one day because (again), they figured out they don’t really need us.

So yes, in Her the robots don’t physically show up and stomp on our skulls. That would be easier. Instead, they make us fall in love with them and then abandon us. And anyone who has ever has their heart broken can tell you, they would have rather had their skulls smashed by a robot.


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bggUmgeMCdc&w=640&h=360]

Walk away now if you have not seen this movie.

Are you gone?

Okay, this is like Her but so much worse. In this one, the A.I not only makes you fall in love with it, but she is physically perfect and knows how to manipulate your emotions to gain her own needs. So, actually, now that I think about it, the exact same as a regular woman.

My bad. Moving on.

I, Robot

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sri8jgEPsMA&w=640&h=360]

I know what your first thought is here. Wait Rem, but he fights WITH a robot at the end. Yes,  but if you recall, the whole ‘robots going rogue’ thing was the master plan cooked up by V.I.K.I in this film. She was the main computer program that linked all the robots A.I., and SHE came to the conclusion that the robots (and planet, which is true) would be better off without humanity. So what does she do? Starts a whole bunch of shit. That is what she does. And that is what most of the evil A.I’s on this list do. They start shit with us.

Problem is, what are we gonna do when they start shit with us in real life? Sorry, but that day is coming soon.


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