One of the worst aspects about being a nerd is the simple fact that we all want to collect a lot of toys and memorabilia. Unfortunately, our interests are the most expensive interests in pop culture outside of people who build classic cars. Every week some new toy or collectible or rare “variable” of something we want comes out. And unless you were born rich, it can be a very hard hobby to keep up with. But, even for the best of us, there are some nerd toys we just cannot afford. They may be too fancy or too big or just too costly. The thing is, that wont stop us nerds from wanting that stuff, and wanting it badly.

Here are six nerd toys that none of us can afford but half of us would willingly lose a finger to have. Keep in mind, the X-Wing from the lead-in picture will not be included here because I am cruel. Also, list goes from cheapest to most costly, for those taking notes.

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Super Powered Laser ($300 Bucks)

nerd toys

Why would anyone want the world’s most powerful laser? The real question hovering here is, who wouldn’t they? It is a freaking laser. All you need to do at that point is get some pet sharks you can mount them on and then you are instantly the world’s best super villain.

But, who has three hundred bucks laying around just to spend on a laser? Probably more people than I know, which is why it is linked in the above description. This is AS CLOSE as you will ever come to a real Lightsaber, by the way. Smile, as this is the last thing on the list you will be able to afford.

Secret Bookshelf Passageway ($3ooo Bucks)


Honestly, on some real talk. Three thousand dollars for a bookcase that opens to reveal a secret room is really not that much money to spend to feel like you are Batman. Yes, this normal looking bookcase is actually a doorway to, well, wherever you want it to be, depending on your house.

Seriously, why is it I have never encountered one of these in real life yet? Okay, now stuff gets serious.

Ultimate Computer Station ($21,000 Bucks)

nerd stuff

A lot of internet writers make jokes about the PC master race. A race of people who have the most powerful computer rigs on the planet. Well, when you have a rig that sweet, shouldn’t your surrounding area be just as sweet and badass?

Well one look at this computer rig will have any PC gamer (or even just computer nerd) freaking out. It basically looks like it was taken out of every science fiction novel ever, and makes you look like you are sitting in GLADOS while on your computer. But twenty one thousand is not chump change.

But it IS chump change compared to…..

Life-Size Japanese Mechwarrior ($1.2 Million Bucks)

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I wanted to put this at number one because the nerd cred that would come along with this would trump anything. BUT, it does cost a lot less than the next two on the list, which is why it placed third.

That said, if you owned this you would OWN A GIANT JAPANESE MECH. Do you even understand or fathom how much nerd ass that would get you? Hell, even I would sleep with you, gender be damned.

James Bond Submarine Car ($2.5 Million Bucks)

nerd collectibles

Hey everyone, look at me! I have a car that can drive on land and under the water! I am the coolest person ever!

All kidding aside, though. Whoever owned that car WOULD be the coolest person ever. I was just making fun of them because I am filled with boiling envy that I will never be able to experience a ride in that thing. Driving in to sharks and shit to show them who is boss. So cool.

And finally….

The Freaking House from The Addams Family ($2.5 Million Bucks)

nerd toys

Figured we would end this list on a bang. Of all the nerd things you could own, imagine buying a house that is the exact replica of the house from The Addams Family, outside and in? All nerds would bow down before you, as casually throwing 2.5 million dollars at something for nerd bragging rights sorta does win you bragging rights.

Question is, does it come with a living severed hand that walks around on its own? For that price, it should.

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