I'd Buy THAT For A Dollar: 6 Superheroes Who Are Total Smokeshows

Sexy Superheroes are a dime a dozen. I mean, think about it. When was the last time you saw an ugly comic character? I don’t mean disfigured bad guys (and sorry to break it to you, but The Joker is a pretty sexy dude) but I mean heroes, because they are always smoke-shows. The dudes look like Magic Mike and the girls all look like any hot cosplay any of us have ever seen. But who are the HOTTEST of the hot? The heroes that would make you toss aside your soul mate in a second to get your hands on them?

Well, I have a pretty solid of who the hottest superheroes are, so here we go. Sexy superheroes who are total smoke shows (because that’s not redundant).

Punk-Rock Storm

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWaySArgI0k&w=640&h=360]

People who have seen the new trailer for the newest X-Men movie have been pissing their pants that Storm now has a mohawk. But all us comic fans clearly recall the period in the 80’s when she rocked it in the comic books because it was one of the most badass and sexiest changes a female hero ever made. No outfit change. Didn’t take off clothes for a reaction.


Instead they gave her the mohawk and made her the sexist female punk rock comic character of all time.

Scarlet Witch

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJmqXmUW9Eo&w=640&h=360]

I know, I am sticking close to X-Men still, but Scarlet Witch is sexy in many ways. One, she doesn’t like a lot of clothing. Okay, fair enough. Two, she is kinda sensual and flirty, which is part of who she is. Third, she is bat shit crazy and everybody knows the better looking someone is, the more crazy they are at the end of the day.

Also, let us not forget, she was banging her brother in the Ultimates universe, so she clearly is kinky as Hell, which is a little scary, actually.

Moving on…..


[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgue6qesdIA&w=640&h=360]

What? At no point in this intro did I imply this would be an all female list. What do you think I am, some sort of pig? No, sorry. The fact is, when someone is sexy, any intelligent person knows that humor and confidence factor into 90% of what makes someone alluring. So between his form fitting outfit (and the dude DOES have fine form) and the self-awareness and badassery he demonstrates, only someone with no genitals at all would find Deadpool unsexy.

Sorry kids, someone had to say this.


Oh, come on? If I had seen this comic when I was like 12, I woulda never left my room. Just boobs for days, ass for days, and something barely recognizable as clothing hanging over her most PRECIOUS bits, Witchblade almost looks like something a 14 year old boy would accidentally summon while masturbating to one of her comics.

Hey, seriously, this chick is almost naked How can she protect anyone? Aw, who cares? This list was about smoke shows. It was not about “Practical Armor.”

Screw it, moving on.

Harley Quinn

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8J2syqmnGU&w=640&h=360]

First off, I know, I KNOW! Harley Quinn is NOT a superhero and she was NOT in the comic originally. I know, and I do not care. All true fans consider her a Batman character, and her recent turn to big screen is bound to only make her more beloved (and more wanted by us nerds). But when it comes to female superheroes or comic characters that are the sexiest and hottest things alive, there is no question Harley holds the all-time prize.

And on top of that, she is as sick and twisted as Mr.J, which also makes her one of the most entertaining characters out there as well.

So who did we miss? What sexy superhero do you wish would save you? Take to the comments and let us know!

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