Gameplay Footage From New Dark Souls III Expansion
I have few memories as humorous as watching my gamer girlfriend playing the first Dark Souls. She is a remarkable gamer and I am not just saying that to butter her up, she really is. Her headshot ration FPS’ is like 98% and mine hovers around 3%, but regardless, I found some cruel and inherent joy in watching her die endlessly over and over again to one, single enemy. Not because I don’t care for her deeply, but because it is great fun to watch those we love get their asses whooped in games. I have no idea why we love it, but we all do. Playing the Souls game is one thing, but watching it deconstruct a human into quivering jelly is something completely different. That being said, she has become quite good and I have no doubts I will watch her pour more hours of cursing and cheering into the new expansion for Dark Souls III, Ashes of Ariandel.
Good new for you TRUE and DIEHARD Souls’ fans, as it looks like this expansion will include some “really difficult enemy encounters.” The reason I put that in quotes is because NO SHIT, we get it, Dark Souls. You love whooping our asses, you don’t need to keep mentioning that part, like a bully who brags. Just playing (literally). We love you, you sick, cruel creature. By the way, I see a giant wolf in this trailer. OMG you guyzzz, is that SIF? Yes, as a grown man I just OMG’ed Sif, and if you’ve played this series, you know why.
But let’s be honest with one another for a second. That cruel and crushing difficulty is why people adore this series so much. It reminds them of the cruel gameplay of old NES games, and we retro nerds live for that kind of punishment. Well, I, for one, live for watching my girlfriend endure it while I eat Cheetos and laugh so much that orange dust shoots from my mouth and I end up resembling some poison spewing, basement dwelling creature from this very series.