Don't Mess with the Classics: The 6 Worst Movie Remakes

The modern remake and reboot scene needs to be put to an end. Very rarely are we seeing movies that are better than the originals. More accurately, we are getting movies which sometimes seem to have completely lost the message of the original. It is like painting a masterpiece, and then someone trying to paint the exact same thing over it. It just ends up looking like a mess. And while some reboots and movie remakes have been decent, most have sucked ass. sometimes it is because of bad special effects. Sometimes it is because of bad writing or acting. But in most cases, it seems like some of these people didn’t even watch the movies they were remaking. Yeah, that bad.

Here is a list of what I consider to be the worst and most unnecessary movie remakes out there right now.

The Wicker Man

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo&w=640&h=480]

Okay, I won’t lie. Nicolas Cage is so masterfully cheesy in this movie, it is hard not to just watch the film in awe. But believe it or not, the original film was a creepy little number with one hell of an ending. The remake was just Nic Cage running around punching women in the face dressed up as a bear.

Seriously, one of the worst and most INSANE remakes of all time, too.

Clash of the Titans

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O35_fg5qFlU&w=640&h=360]

I know the movie wasn’t that bad, but the pasted on 3D really looked terrible, and most of the charm of the original was replaced by giant CG beasts and an aimless script. I can understand why someone would want to remake a movie if they thought they could make it better. But why remake such an amazing film if all you plan on doing is shitting on it?

Seriously, go watch the original right now. It is like God of War, the movie.

Last House on the Left

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmZy98alchs&w=640&h=360]

First of all, just let me ask: who wants a remake of a rape revenge movie? Seeing young girls get raped and killed is not fun to normal people. Granted, the family end up getting revenge, but it was just a needlessly nasty film that would have been better off had it never been remade.

Not saying you should see original, but just makes no sense why someone would remake a movie like this.

Godzilla (1998 version)

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYUdJ9WJ7n4&w=640&h=360]

There is no scene in cinema that can compare to the scene when Godzilla is HIDING, then pops out and eats some helicopters. Let me try and explain this again. A giant lizard the size of a skyscraper HID feet away from masterful Air Force pilots and then jumped out and ate them.

it was, literally, the stupidest thing I have ever f*cking seen. The more recent remake was great by comparison to this trash. Awful, wanna-be Jurassic Park fail.

Psycho

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4Ff4n9GXPo&w=640&h=360]

Yes, there is a Psycho remake. A shot for shot, word for word remake of the exact film. Except in what was maybe the WORST casting of all time, Vince Vaughn was playing the lead. Yes, Vince “I always play douchebags” Vaughn was suddenly supposed to be one of the most scary and quietly intense bad guys in horror. Who are you kidding?

The film was a total flop and deserved to be, as it was like someone smearing shit all over a Monet painting.

Poltergeist

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdnsO_e5pDs&w=640&h=360]

I know what some of you are thinking: it wasn’t THAT bad. But yes, yes it was. The tree breaks through the window in the remake and literally travels the whole house to find the kid. A fucking CG branch. Get the f*ck out of here. The original movie was so scary(and still is far scarier than remake) and it just makes no sense to make a movie only to make it worse, as I have said here ten times before already. In this case, from awful CG to actors who felt pasted on (and I normally LOVE Sam Rockwell) but here, it just didn’t work.

So people, please stop remaking good movies into bad ones. It makes no sense and pisses us all off.

Dishonorable Mentions: All American remakes of amazing foreign films like Oldboy and Martyrs. All those are beyond awful and deserve a list of their own.

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