We geeks are a simple lot. We don’t need that much out of life. We have our passions, our interests, the things that drive us. Thing is, we like knowing how things will be. Knowing things will work and be in order and be how we planned them. What we don’t like is when fate throws a cruel twist into our plans. From level corruption to system failures to losing a project due to the failings of a machine, geeks worst nightmares are pretty straight forward, but they can turn any one of us into a raging freak if they happen. Here are geeks worst nightmares, presented in no particular order.
I was just going to go with the fabled “red ring of death” for this, but it would be somewhat foolish for me to infer that only Xbox fans have had to go through this. The truth is, a video game console is a machine, and sometimes machines fail. The 360 just had a really cool name for it so most use it as a reference point. Problem is, this geeks worst nightmare can happen on anything. Even a computer.
You ever have a high end rig shit out on you with no warning whatsoever? Let me tell you, you go from geek to “raging f*cking viking” pretty quickly.
A Sh*thead Gets Hold Of Beloved Material
This one may sound vague and odd, but once I make two exmaples you all will know exactly what I am talking about. How did WE all react when we found out Michael Bay was going to rape the TMNT after he already raped the Transformers? Yes, that feeling.
The same feeling we got when we heard uber-cocky-frat-boy Ben Affleck was going to be Batman. Something about douches ending up in good geek material just makes us freak the f*ck out.
Loss of Document/Game/ Music/Book
Many nerds and geeks work closely with machines and computers. This one sorta shoots back to the first entry on the list. We rely on machines to help us reach the end results we need. This can be anything from writing (like I do) to coding to a multitude of other things. But in having those passions, we are (again) at the mercy of a machine.
Now imagine for a second being a programmer on an indie game. Suddenly, and for no reason, the equipment shits out and you lose days (natch, weeks) of work. Do you know what that feels like? It feels like a doctor shoving a finger in your butt with no warning. You scream and react violently.
Then you weep.
Someone Beating You To It
This one sucks ass. This one is a geeks worst nightmare because so many geeks have so many solid, life changing ideas. Problem is, so do so many other geeks. So let’s say you are sitting on an app that you think will become a sensation. The only reason you are sitting on it is you want to make sure all the funding is secure before you sink everything you have into this.
Meanwhile, you sink everything you have into this. You are one week away from the reveal, and BAM, you app (well, one very similar, actually) gets released and beats you to the punch, even though you have been working on it for years. Now, no matter what, YOU will be the second one. The copy cat.
Yes, that leads to some screaming and smashing and rethinking of one’s life. It’s a pretty shitty moment (I have experienced more than once, myself.)
“The One” Being Fake
This might sound silly in terms of geeks worst nightmares, but hear me out first. A geek girl or a geek boy finds someone they love. They seem to have all the same interests and accept and embrace you for your own geekiness, whilst showing you theirs. It all feels perfect, almost TOO perfect. Life goes on, but a truth begins to reveal itself.
You were nerd-baited.
The person is not really a nerd and was just portraying that because that scene is super hip right now. Slowly, you realize you were tricked and manipulated by someone far less interesting then they first appeared. That one is a fear and a reality, and for us geeks, sucks a thousand asses to death. Speaking of sucking asses and death….