Movies & Television

Honest Trailers - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

I was going to write abut this and then I thought I wouldn’t because all I can do is shit talk this awful series, and I didn’t want to rape a franchise people really enjoyed. Then I remembered it was Michael Bay who raped this franchise and now my second hand raping doesn’t feel as dirty. what we all need to understand is, we need to let go. These 90’s franchises NO LONGER BELONG TO US even though we grew up with them. These new TMNT movies are aimed at the CURRENT youth. You know, the kids who do meth and like to put kids inside other little kids (16 and Pregnant, yo!). So when we think these reboots suck as grown up children of the 90’s, that is just us being out of touch with the modern teenagers you all raised who turned into the worst generation on earth of all time ever for infinity times 10.

So here is the Honest Trailer for an awful series that was raped to make itself more accessible to the current generation who are fueled by methamphetamine, poor clothing and music choices, and baby-making. Trust me, if you like these movies and are over 16, you probably live in a group home, bless your fragile soul.

Sorry, I am still bitter about what happened to all my fave 90’s franchises this year, clearly. And don’t even act like this isn’t some real talk. I speak for the masses, dammit!

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