NOTE: FOR MATURE READERS ONLY
When I was just a young child, haunted attractions were all the same. You walked through someone’s house they hung a bunch of fake spider webs in and you act scared while a lady dressed up as a green witch has you hold a piece of liver. Then you close your eyes, grab some grapes, someone says “your holding EYEBALLS” and you just kinda shrug, crushing the grapes in your hand. It is ultimately chicken-shit child’s play, and it got old quick. But now, in 2017 when you look up haunted places and attractions, you will see there is a new kind. They are called EXTREME HAUNTS and they push the boundaries about what a Halloween haunted house can do.
So take all the lame memories you have of the haunted houses of your youth and buckle in as I tell you about the most haunted places and most extreme haunts to be found all around the country, many of which you still have time to hit up before Halloween!
(Warning: some of these are VERY disturbing, these are not your parent’s haunted houses, be forewarned).
When it comes to well known haunted places to visit around Halloween, Knott’s scary farm in California might be the one on this list that is most accessible to most people.
Featuring pretty basic haunted attractions, what makes Knotts Scary Farm so cool is it is essentially a massive haunted attraction, covering acres with a lot of different themes and places to visit while you are there.
Not the scariest on the list but possibly the most well-known.
This Pennsylvania haunt does not mess around. The first thing you read on the site is “we touch you and no, you can’t touch us” and then it tells you you need to be 18 to peep it. Those two things let you know this place isn’t messing around.
What do I mean by messing around? Here, read it in their words:
When your haunted house doesn’t let you in for the slightest medical problem, you know the stuff that goes down in there is no joke.
This haunt located in Texas is actually known to be one of the best haunted attractions in the country. They only accept cash (which is always kind of weird, scary, and unprofessional) and they do not let pregnant woman in.
Just a thought but when your haunt is SO disturbing you have to warn the pregnant it may cause a miscarriage you know this place pulls no punches (except when some guy dressed as a butcher is punching you, of course).
This is another one that comes with a HUGE warning poster a mile long.
ABC News did declare this Pittsburgh haunted house the best in the country, which is something they boast on the site (with good reason.) There was even a moment when Elijah Wood went on TV boasting about how great this place was, too.
A big part to do with that is how seriously they take the art of the scare at the Scarehouse. They work year-round, non-stop, to have one and a half months to show off their hard work.
And from what I have heard, their hard work is a damn fun haunt.
Erebus in Michigan has a lot of buzz from locals there for just being an all-encompassing fun evening of terror. While not as nasty as some of these other haunts get (one of the haunts listed here has them force feeding you and spitting into your mouth, this is NOT one of those).
As you can see from location I also tried to grab from as many varied haunted attractions as I could all across the country so everyone reading may have a chance to check out one of these if they so desire.
The other (literally) HUGE selling point for Erebus is that it is four stories you have to descend through. This is not a haunted hayride or a simple haunted house.
This is a haunted warehouse with many floors, and that alone is worth price of admission.
Sorry to burst any bubbles but I am including this extreme haunt (which means hands-on, pretty much full torture experience) for ONE reason, even though it is now closed. It got named one of the scariest haunts ever, I read an article that backed that up entirely times ten, but then they shut down.
No real warning, one year after being named top haunt. I am telling you this for one of two reasons. One, they closed down because of the cost of upkeep (which can happen at these fancy, messed up haunts) OR, someone died in there.
No, seriously. It is ONE of the two, use your imagination to pick the one you like better.
When it comes to the most haunted places in America to visit on Halloween, Blackout in New York is actually considered a genuinely disturbing experience that, by the end, kind of makes the person going through it feel like they are having a psychological breakdown.
No, not even kidding. This is taken from an NY Times review on their site, verbatim:
BLACKOUT. “It’s not merely a cheap trick. This production has a fairly consistent narrative and the way it evokes dread is more psychologically perceptive than most shows on Broadway”.
So for the layman, he is saying this shit will make you feel crazy and has a huge budget to back that up. So there you have it. Only check out Blackout if you KNOW you can handle some of the most disturbing stuff you will ever witness (or have happen to you).
NO, this is NOT the same 100 acre woods that Winnie the Pooh hides in, so really, let go of that thought now. This Pittsburgh haunt will get you for one reason and one reason only. It really covers that much area, making it more like a horror theme park than just a haunt.
Travel Channel named it one of the scariest Halloween Attractions in the country, and they know what they are talking about because they visit every single one.
This year alone, they have at LEAST six different haunted attractions you can visit while at 100 Acres Manor. Torture Tank is my favorite, based on name alone. Sounds like a place I would like to drop a few exes in.
When the tagline for an extreme haunt is “working hard to make you sick”, you know you are not taking a slow-ride through Disney’s haunted mansion. More like a fast run through a place filled with half naked perverts who want nothing more than to mentally scar you for life.
I also want to say there are naked chicks so don’t bring the youngins, but the name should give that way on its own. This Ohio haunt is not for the weak of heart or jizzlobbers (you know, dudes who lob jizz like that dude in Silence of the Lambs).
Also, please check out their website linked above is it is a hilarious time capsule into the web 2.0. Looks like it was built in the 90’s and they haven’t tweaked it once.
Of many of the haunted places we have mentioned on this list, The 13th Gate in Louisiana is known to be a TRULY terrifying experience, as if the pic of the clown above from the actual haunt doesn’t drive that home (side note, from AHS Cult to IT, was a great year for killer clowns).
Truth is, the last few entries on this list (13th Gate included) are not for the faint of heart at all. To some, it is a truly exhausting experience (while horror fans live for this shit) but again, the 13th Gate is not a haunted attraction to bring the kiddies (unless you want those kiddies being traumatized for the rest of their existence).
This year the Necropolis 13 attraction (at 13th Gate) sounds amazing. You run and hide in a real-life Louisiana cemetery while the dead rise around you and try to eat you before you can find the escape.
11) Freakling Bros.
You cannot mention the scariest haunted houses in the country and not bring up the level of depravity found at the Freakling Bros. This Las Vegas haunt is one where they will tell you, straight up, this is a hands-on experience (meaning the people working there will manhandle you, push you, pull you, scream in your face etc) but that is what has helped propel Freakling Bros into the top tier of haunted attractions in the U.S.
Obviously a play off the Ringling Bros circus, this is another one where you get your fair share of clowns, so if coulrophobia is one of your fears, stay the hell away from this one.
What puts the Dent Schoolhouse attraction in Ohio so high on the list is they do something most extreme haunts don’t do (but more should).
They follow one narrative, it is a kind of Freddy Krueger tale about a janitor who wasn’t the sanest of guys and tended to take that out on the kids of the school. The fact that you are being ushered through a real school (yes, this haunt takes place at an actual schoolhouse) just makes that narrative feel that more real.
And while it is cool that some of the haunts listed here have many attractions, the single storyline and how it plays out at the Dent schoolhouse is a lot like living a horror movie, and not many haunts give you that kind of story.
Very cool and well worth checking out if you are in the area.
Okay, now onto to the real reason I wrote this list. The now infamous……
When it comes to the most haunted places in the world, attraction or not, McKamey Manor is an exercise in masochism. Slowly getting famous for visitors to the place coming forward and LITERALLY claiming it ruined them for life, McKamey Manor is not something any of us should expect to see around for much longer. The negative news slowly leaking about it is turning more and more people off on this MOST EXTREME HAUNT. But there are some red flags that go up about this tour, real talk.
One) It is an 8-hour tour that NO ONE HAS FINISHED, yet the cost to go to it is to donate a bag of dog food (so who funds this place, how does it make money, and how does it stay open?)
Two) The waiver they make you sign is quite unlike any other. You LITERALLY sign your entire life over to them, saying your family cannot sue if you die there and also agreeing to be abused, force-fed fetid food, gagged, waterboarded, locked in a coffin, covered in bodily fluids that are often LITERALLY spit out of stranger’s mouths into your own. They even semi-suffocate you with plastic bags and put you in a cage with live snakes circling your face.
People have blacked out in there and lost their minds, for real.
Three) There is a live-feed of all this going off to Vegas, but no one knows to whom or why these are all filmed and live-streamed to a site NONE OF US have access to. Rumor is the people watching talk to the owner through an earpiece and PICK the tortures the people go through, though this is all alleged and not proven.
So basically, this is where you go if you hate yourself so much you want to die but don’t have the courage to do it to yourself. See for yourself what this shit is like and you judge if this is entertainment or just plain torture by sickos.
My vote is the latter.
All the nopes in the world to that. I will stick to adult trick or treating. Yeah, people look at me strange but at least some sicko with hep-C isn’t spitting vomit into my mouth.
I had to include this (somewhat local to me) SALEM, New Hampshire haunt as it is a full theme park turned into horror park with multiple attractions and can be a pretty fun way to kill an October evening. No one spits in your mouth there, either, which is nice.