Drowning Horses and Dead Elves: The 5 Saddest Nerd Movie Moments

Why you gotta do that, nerd movies? Why you gotta pull me and play with my nerd emotions? I go at most nerd and geek movies feeling like I will be safe. Feeling like my emotions will be in good hands. Then you drop bombs on me, and I am left, blubbering in my seat like a small child who just got their ice cream cone snatched by some fat-ass seagull. But as I began to speak about the saddest nerd movie moments mere moment ago, something dawned on me. It is these very moments that helped define these films for me and made them so memorable in the first place (to me and most other geeks). I will warn you beforehand, there will be some spoilers, but they will be for older movies, so don’t worry too much. Also, caution, as these will evoke some powerful emotions in you if you are a true geek (and this will kill some time before Fallout 4 comes out, which is what we are all thinking about anyway).

E.T Dying and Shit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACVup4Bqhfw&w=640&h=480]

I have a very strange cinematic relationship with Spielberg’s work. Part of me thinks he loves kids, and part of me thinks he revels in traumatizing them. I mean, Jaws, Poltergeist, Indiana Jones, and Jurassic Park. Each one of those had a scarring moment (or ten) for kids. But for me, the toughest was when we saw E.T, all washed up on the shore, grey and looking dead and shit. Come on, man? My young mind was so punched in the soul by that moment.

Granted, he gets better, which was nice. But just when I felt the relief that he was gonna be fine, he leaves. Sweet, two saddest moments for the price of one.

Optimus Prime Fading in Animated Transformers Movie

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5sQBXvSLfQ&w=640&h=360]

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Michael Bay can pack a suitcase and go right to hell. This list has nothing to do with his CGI miscarriages he calls movies. I am talking about the original, generation 1-Transformers animated movie. I was just a kid when this movie dropped, and I had NEVER seen a major character killed off in a cartoon before.

So to see Optimus Prime get dropped, and then see him pass on leadership to that Rodimus Prime doofus messed me all up for weeks.

NOT THE F*CKING HORSE (from The Neverending Story)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT4FFQ3Ugfc&w=640&h=480]

No, seriously, you are not gonna make my childhood self slowly watch a horse drown, are you? I mean, any minute now something is going to swoop in and save that horse, I know how nerd movies go.

Okay, no? You are literally gonna make me watch this horse drown right now, while Atreyu does all he can to save it in vain? Artax?? Artax!!?? NOOOOOOOOOOO0000000000ooooooooooo……….

I still wake up covered in sweat, weeping that horses name. Thanks for that one, Neverending Story. You did bust out a luck dragon later, though, so +100 redemption points.

Dobby’s Goodbye in Harry Potter Series

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_OdM7SWMLo&w=640&h=360]

Oh, come on! Dobby? The sweet house elf who gets abused for most of sad life lives only to find redemption in death? Jesus, that is almost as outright cruel as drowning a helpless horse in a mud swamp. Keep in mind, I said ALMOST.

But seriously, though this series had a handful of very sad moments and deaths, for some reason, we all felt that extra pang of sadness for Dobby. He just deserved a better life than he got.

Many of us can relate to that, I’m sure.

Final Father and Son Exchange in Return of the Jedi

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNDwCsFzS8c&w=640&h=360]

Sometimes we cry out of sadness. Sadness of the things we lost and the things that will never be. Sometimes, we cry out of happiness. I truly believe that, at the end of Return of the Jedi when Luke and Darth have their familial exchange, some were sad crying, and some were happy crying. Let me explain.

The people who were sad crying were crying because Luke only got a moment with his real Dad before he passed on. Those who were happy crying were happy crying because the same reason. Darth got the redemption, saved his son, and they had a moment together. Some found beauty and peace in that. Closure, if you will.

But regardless, we were all weeping a little. Then Lucas went back, and changed the end to the below photo, and fans everywhere instantly remembered why they both love and hate this man at once.

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