Why Thanksgiving Is Secretly the Best Geek Holiday

When people think geek holiday, they often think Christmas and Halloween. And in assuming that, they would not be wrong. But no one considers Thanksgiving a geek holiday. Yeah, maybe some of us with bellies like to eat a bit, but, what else does Thanksgiving offer a geek? Simple. Thanksgiving is the prime time for you to sit with all the people who are going to buy you Christmas presents, and to “not so subtly” let them know exactly what you want, where they can get, and how much it will cost them. On top of that, you get to stuff your face and watch as a giant balloon version of Spiderman floats through New York City.

Sorry, but doesn’t get much geekier than that!

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOU3_QCwuzg&w=640&h=360]

The Macy’s parade held in NYC every year on Turkey Day is about the biggest celebration of geek culture by the mainstream, period. Our subculture has taken over the parade over the years. Now it is all geek stuff. Spiderman, Finn and Jake from Adventure Time, Garfield (wait, does he still go there?) and on and on.

If you look at the parade from it’s beginning, it used to be more, well, lame. But over the years, counter nerd culture became THE culture and now you have floats you would have never imagined. I mean, remember when we got RickRolled a few years back at the parade? That was nerd culture at its finest, taking over the mainstream.

Let’s see what we get this year?

Lay Nerd Groundwork For Christmas

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5aJfebzkrM&w=640&h=360]

Listen, we can all be as nice as we want, but we should also be honest. It can be tough being around relatives we see twice a year and who don’t understand us. What is even worse about them is when they buy you a gift for Xmas that just SHOWS to you and everybody around that they know NOTHING about you and have no interest in your interests.

But if you play Thanksgiving right, you set up your own Xmas to be awesome. Just show up at dinner, dress as lame as THEY want, then slowly have them eating of your hands by the middle of the meal. Casually bring up how you can explore all of an radiated Boston in new Fallout and watch as suddenly, your lame as hell relatives actually click into cool and pick up on what you are saying.

Another cool misdirection here is to open by asking them what THEY really want, because you know it will flip and they will feel obligated to then ask you. Yes, it is psychological warfare, but guess what, you just won.

Be The Fattest Fatty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXH_12QWWg8&w=640&h=480]

Listen, all I am saying is if you went through a dating site of REAL nerds and geeks, you would see that most of them are on the larger side. Say what you want, insult all you like, but I can wholly speak for myself when I say I love food comas. And Thanksgiving is less like a feast and more like a food orgy.

From the moment the day starts you are picking off that bird and you don’t stop until you go to bed that night. It is, literally, the greatest eating day of the year. This is then followed up by a deep, turkey sleep coma that you wake up the next day feeling like you are Han Solo getting pulled out of Carbonite. But come on. Turkey, pecan pie, stuffing, potatoes, pumpkin pie, and I could keep going. Geek holiday all the way. Food, nerd talk, and giant balloons. There is no day geekier, really.

One Flaw

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUI5NdGVVlw&w=640&h=360]

Okay, so football plays all day (and most true geeks are not sports fans). Yes, that can be lame. Unless it is like the football you see above, at which point, huzzah to all. But, there is a benefit here, even to crappy football with fully clothed men. Usually your lamest family members will all congregate around the TV once the games start, and this means you can just kinda let them drift in and out of sleep while you talk to the family members you actually like.

We all know it is the half drunk uncles asleep on the couch watching football. Screw it, once you hear the snores just pop in your New Hope DVD and win the day officially.

I’ll Take All The Fallout 4 You Have Please. ALL OF IT!

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